Archive for the Whatever Category

« Older Entries

Top Five Worst of 2012

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 01/09/2013 by Taylor

worstmov5

…And here’s the Crap List. While I don’t feel nearly as positive posting this one, I’ve got to be honest in saying that this does feel therapeutic. Typing out this list of awful movies is kind like of heavily exhaling after running out of a public bathroom that somebody else destroyed.

And while there was much, much more garbage that came out this year, many (Alex Cross) I’ve never done reviews on because some movies people are just going to watch regardless of how bad you know it’s going to be. So below are the ones that, eh, could’ve been something…they just weren’t. Read more »

Leave A Comment »

The Top Five of 2012

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 01/08/2013 by Taylor

halle

After (woo hoo!) an entire of reviewing movies, this is what it comes down to; the best of the best, the most amazing, well scripted, melodramatic dramas that Hollywood has to offer… maybe not, but these are my most enjoyable and well made films of 2012. As far as I’m concerned, the second half of the year was much better than the first half, while the year all around just kicked the balls of 2011, despite the huge titles that came out.

I’m looking at you, Twilight and Hangover 2. Read more »

Leave A Comment »

Four Things a Tolkien Fan Appreciates in The Hobbit Film (Besides Everything)

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 12/20/2012 by Taylor
hobb5

“I want da gold!”

Written by Bryce Waller

Nine years.

That is how long I was forced to wait for another LOTR movie. And every day I was forced to wait was as long as a life age of the earth. I have to admit when this project was initially starting to gain attention, I was upset that Guillermo Del Toro was attached to direct and not Peter Jackson. I love Del Toro but LOTR fans claim only one man as the heir to the throne of Middle Earth – Sir Peter Jackson. If he has not been knighted, I just did it. Read more »

Leave A Comment »

Jackman: Origins

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 12/19/2012 by Taylor

wolverine

We have a problem.

Wolverine was always cool growing up and I don’t really need to explain why. While James Bond may have always been the embodiment of sophistication and coolness, Wolverine could just as easily be described as masculinity personified. Claws come out, motorcycles, cigars, side-burns, and just not caring about anything. That’s what I always thought of anyway. Read more »

Leave A Comment »

The Three Worst Christmas Movies

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , on 12/18/2012 by Taylor

Special guest writer for this article by Bryce Waller, a man of fine taste, Lord of the Rings knowledge, and Alabama football.

"Whatcha got there, Ben? A skillet of awful? Cool, cool."

“Whatcha got there, Ben? A skillet of awful? Cool, cool.”

We all have those movies that put us in the Christmas spirit every December – or October for those who choose not to celebrate Halloween or Thanksgiving, but those people don’t really count anyway.

Personally, I don’t truly feel like Christmas has started until I watch Elf and It’s A Wonderful Life. Those movies can be described as nothing other than pure, 100% nostalgia for this Tennessee boy’s soul. Backstreet Boys and Nsync do the same thing but it will get weird if we start talking about that so we’ll stay on topic. You may differ from me on what gets your holiday juices flowing, but I think we can all agree on a few “Christmas” films that drain even the most enthusiastic Christmas devotees of their Christmas spirit. As a self-proclaimed Christmas aficionado, I take offense to the following films: Read more »

Leave A Comment »

6 Bond Gadgets Reality Would Destroy

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 12/10/2012 by Taylor

james-bond-cars-1

That car…Oh, the car.

There’s no doubt about it, 007 is an amazing man. In fifty years, he’s had time to build up quite a nice little collection of tools, weapons, and other devices for his use in the British branch of awesome spies and soldiers. America has GI JOE.

And while many of Bond’s gadgets are more advanced versions of weapons and tools that government is are actually working on, and others are gadgets that work in theory at the very least, it’s also true that some of his toys are a bit on the stupid side. And while even the dumbest Bond gadget is better than the best Christmas gift we’ve ever received (a rat), it doesn’t stop the gadgets themselves still being a football field away from sensible in any scenario, save for the scene when the writer wants to finish the script and eat lunch.

Below are six of Bond’s gadgets that reality immediately deem retarded. Read more »

Leave A Comment »

Twilight and the Era of Filmmakers that Don’t Have to Care

Posted in Whatever with tags , , on 11/27/2012 by Taylor

LOOK AT IT

After a ridiculous weekend filled with sparkling and moody stares, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2: Electric Boogaloo hopped its way up to the number one spot and just laughed at everybody else that tried. It made $340 million dollars globally, the first weekend alone (At the time of finishing this article exactly a week later, it’s bumped up to $578 million, respectively).

Far be it from me to judge a person based upon their movie selection, my favorites are certainly open to mockery in one form or another, but dang; they don’t make as much as Breaking Dawn in their existence as a film, much less one weekend. The following is a short examination as to the success of the film series’ success with reasons being a little more than the obvious selling points of that kid taking his clothes off, as well as musings on an age where cast, crew, and fans alike all agree to make something they openly acknowledge sucks.

If you needed any more signs of impending doom the earth is soon to experience, then this should do the trick. God help us all. Read more »

1 Comment »

The Greatest Secret Agents Known to Fiction

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , , on 11/15/2012 by Taylor

Secret agents are great aren’t they?

Out of all the spies you know (or don’t), throughout history, they will never compare to a spy you know in the world of fiction. Once James Bond set that bar, there was no raising it, only trying to get to it. With Skyfall having been released last week, it seems appropriate to compare some of the greatest fictional spies of all time. There were so many to list, only a few were chosen to represent the more discreet side of the ka-razy world of fiction. Seriously, there’s so many secret agents and spies it’s like finding pennies on the ground. From the unappreciated to the pretty-freaking-obvious.

No particular order by the way, that’s all up to you folks. You won’t see Austin Powers on the list, just to let you know ahead of time. I’m still sick the impressions. Read more »

Leave A Comment »

That Guy- Bruce Greenwood

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 11/14/2012 by Taylor

I love this guy. He’s always playing figures of authority that, in many cases, turn out to be terrible people. That’s not necessarily something you want to be typecast as but he just does it so well.

You may recognize him in films like Disturbing Behavior (1999) where he play Dr. Edgar Caldicott; the man who was pretending to educate and change high-schoolers for the better while he was secretly brain washing them.

I, Robot (2004) where he played the CEO of the robot company. There’s a twist here however, because even though he’s suspected of controlling all the robots gone bad, they get to his office and he’s been strangled by one of them. Whups! Read more »

Leave A Comment »

Happy Halloween, People

Posted in Whatever with tags , , on 10/31/2012 by Taylor

Watch out for those razorblades. Fun fact- most candy that was ever poisoned was by the parents of the children who ingested it. Not meant to be super-morbid, it’s just interesting that the most offenders of such a crime would be the ones that are supposed to be protecting you.

I’ve also always wondered how anybody would ever eat an apple with blades in it being that it’s freaking Halloween and you’re supposed to be eating candy. Jeez, people, get it right.

Leave A Comment »

« Older Entries