Archive for April, 2012

Movie Review: The Cabin in the Woods

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 04/13/2012 by McCutcheon

Five college students are getting away for the weekend and going to one of their relative’s cabin in the woods (stop me if you’ve heard this one). Horror/slasher cliches ensue until the five decide to make their way out…which of course can’t happen. I can’t tell you anymore of the plot without giving anything away but the movie takes a horrific Truman Show-esque turn.

I love horror movies. Not all horror movies, mind you. Not all are winners, I understand. In fact, when PG-13 Horror movies come to the theater, you can guarantee your local theater employee is in a hell of their own. Underage kids flock to the movies to get a taste of the violence. They yell at characters onscreen telling them how stupid they are, and how if they were in that position, they would do the exact opposite of what the character is doing, be it fight or flight. And every character has played their part in countless films. The funny one, the innocent one, the not-so-innocent one, blah blah blah. You know the drill. Movies like the Scream quadrilogy and the Friday the 13th series have made millions off of this formula. Making fun of the age-old story while still playing into the hands of the cliches.”Why am I watching this again?” I’ve asked myself on several occasions. But evidently, so have the screenwriters of The Cabin in the Woods, who not only recognize the constantly overused plots of horror films, but do a good job of tearing them apart. Continue reading

Movie Review: Lockout

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 04/13/2012 by McCutcheon

Of all the names characters are given in action movies (Rambo, Snake, Dutch), I don’t think I’ve ever thought one was as cool and as stupid at the same time as Guy Pearce’s character in Lockout. Are you ready for this? Snow. Every time he was addressed I started laughing. But the way I feel about his name also accurately sums up how I feel about the film itself. It’s ridiculous, over-the-top, and full of genre cliches; but it’s fun. And that was all I was wanting out of it. Continue reading

Zombie Soundtrack #1: Walt

Posted in Zombie Soundtracks with tags , , on 04/07/2012 by McCutcheon

I like this list. It wasn’t enough for him to put the songs up, but a short reasoning as well. I can dig it. Helter Skelter is a nice choice for a zombie takeover, and he’s got Deftones so I can’t not appreciate that. Give this man a hand, he also threw in some Journey. If you want to submit your own, read this. -T

Walt: I’m only using songs from my ITunes (1299 songs, not bragging or anything). So here we go.

1.  The Allman Brothers Band- Blue Sky. Going back to my roots with this one something relaxing and blissful. Good times with that special someone.

2. The Beatles- Helter Skelter. When I imagine this part, scenes from 28 week later come to mind of mindless monsters running through the streets tearing people apart. Snipers killing zombies by the bushel and not making a dent in the crisis. Its chaos, madness, terrifying.

3. Pink Floyd- Run Like Hell. I think the title speaks for itself.

4. Deftones- 7 Words. This song amps me up like no other, just what someone needs when there about to bash in zombie brains.

5. Van Halen- Panama. Because at this point you need the fun beating mindless creatures to death song.

6. Trivium- Pull Harder On the Strings of Your Martyr. Just a good song when you’re putting boot to @$$.

7. Ugly Casanova- Maybe We’re Lost. So at this point all the killing has proven to be useless, we just can’t win. We lost loved ones, and have scene horrible things. Where do we go from here?

8. Journey- Separate Ways. Alright time to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and prepare for the final battle. Do we win, lose, get torn into a million pieces? Who cares this song in AWESOME!

9. The Offspring- Gone Away. Just a good song that I think sums up the whole story.

So that’s my list. Yes some of these are cheesy, but what can I say cheesy movies are one of my guilty pleasures.

This Movie Suuucks: Legion

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , on 04/07/2012 by McCutcheon

I was surprised to find out a few people I know actually like this movie. Not because people can’t have their own taste and opinions: but because it’s just so freaking bad. When I watched it, I thought of it more as a test to see how similar it was to an idea I’d previously had for a story.

After watching it, I realized it was nothing like the idea I’d thought of because I didn’t have plot holes big enough for everyone to see straight through, which is the biggest problem with this movie. The second biggest problem, is everything else. Continue reading

You Gotta See This: Fright Night (2011)

Posted in You've Gotta See This with tags , , , , , on 04/06/2012 by McCutcheon

Stars: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Toni Collete, Imogen Poots

Rated R for Bloody horror violence, and language, 2011, Horror/Comedy

Compare to: The Frighteners (1996), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

“Whaaa? But this movie’s not even a year old! I know about this one already.” Right, you know about it, but nobody went to see it. And I’m not really sure why not. Twilight makes enough money, but we all know it’s not for the “vampires”.  The Blade series has been popular enough, but that’s more about the action. So I ask you: Why did this movie barely make enough to cover it’s budget of 30 million? Before I go any further, you should see this:

The remake was great all right. A great mistake. If you really believe that was great I understand why vampire movies now include sparkles or vampires that are nothing more than zombies. Vampires that could be complex, seductive, tragic, yet predatory are lost because of movie goers like you. You should be ashamed of yourself.

And this:

David Tennant might be a good actor but he can’t save everything. If he had the original script he could have done a fantastic job with Peter Vincent the way he was intended, the way Roddy McDowell played him. But that wasn’t the script he was given…

All of their names are things like “DarkMagik” and “Annericefan72.” The first comment was directed at me, by the way. I should be ashamed of myself for liking this movie. So I’d say it’s safe to assume many vampire fans don’t think they’re vampires if they aren’t wearing doilies and sipping blood like it’s wine. So before I go any further, I had to put that out there because I think I finally figured out why a legitimate vampire movie, remake or not, didn’t make any money. Even if it sucked, you’d still have to see it to know. Moving on… Continue reading

Zombie Soundtrack #0

Posted in Zombie Soundtracks with tags , , , on 04/03/2012 by McCutcheon

*Matthew McConaughey voice* Alright, alright, alright, here’s my list for a perfect Zombie Apocalypse soundtrack. Got several more in that are looking pretty good but as of right now, here’s mine to start us off. If you’re confuse about the parenthesis, check out the post underneath. We’ve got THEMES here, people, let’s try to retain some order!

1.  Queens of the Stone Age- Everybody Knows that You’re Insane (All is Well)

2. A Perfect Circle- Annhilation (Terror Rising)

3. The Gaslight Anthem- Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (What Happens Now?)

4. Nico Vega- A Million Years (Kill)

5. Deftones- Elite (Kill)

6. The Bronx- Kill My Friends (Kill)

7. City and Colour- What Makes a Man? (All is Lost)

8. Hot Water Music- We’ll Say Anything We Want (Regroup)

9. Murder By Death- Spring Break 1899 (Here’s to the Future)