Archive for June, 2012

Trailers, Whoop Whoop

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 06/29/2012 by Taylor

I think it’s pretty cool that as influenced by kung-fu films as Wu Tang Clan’s music has been over the years, veteran member RZA is finally writing, directing, and starring in his own. If you didn’t know, he’s already been playing his hand in acting in films you wouldn’t necessarily expect him to be in. Funny People (2009) and Due Date (2010) just to name a couple. He also plays a kind of parody of himself in the show Californication as rapper/actor “Samurai Apocalypse.” If it hadn’t been for Channing Tatum, we’d be seeing him today as Blind Master in G.I. JOE: Retaliation. Ah, well. Even if MWTIF ends up sucking, it’ll still be cool to watch in one way or another. If the embedding didn’t work, just click here to watch.


Now this is on my Top Five of the year to watch for the rest of the year, a list I’ll be posting later on this week. The trailer will tell you everything you need to know, but it’s about thirty seconds shorter than your average spot, letting me know that they’re not planning to give away their entire movie before it’s released *cough cough* Amazing Spider-Man *cough*. Rian Johnson is a director that just knows how to make a movie based on his previous films. Some action, some suspense, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Jeff Daniels. We now have a smart action film. Emily Blunt don’t hurt nothin’ neither.


Movie Review: Ted

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 06/29/2012 by Taylor


Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth Macfarlane, Giovanni Ribisi

Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use ,106 Minutes, Comedy

Compare to: 40 Year Old Virgin (2005) I Love You, Man (2009)

It’s tough to watch and/or think about Ted and keep Family Guy out of it completely. If you didn’t know, Ted is written and directed by the creator (and it seems most of the voices) of Fox’s most successful cartoon other than The Simpsons. I don’t know if I would have been able to catch certain similarities had I not been privy to that information, but I was, so I can do this review under no other pretenses.

Ted‘s not bad. Ted is not great. Ted won’t have your sides splitting with laughter, but if entertainment alone is the only thing you’re going for, and you don’t mind some of the most offensive language ever espoused by a two foot tall, computer animated sidekick, Ted might be your movie. Continue reading


It Took Me 25 Years to Realize Spider-Man is the Greatest Superhero

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 06/27/2012 by Taylor

What a title, I know. Though it is the truth. Spider-Man has been around for fifty years but I’m just now getting to this cold, hard truth that will be put into my children’s heads for many years to come. “Don’t be like daddy, Timmy. Be like Spider-Man. GOT IT?” He better, or it’s the basement for him. But enough about Timmy, he’s an idiot.

Let’s get down to brass tax, gentlemen. Spider-Man has been everywhere, from comics to TV, toys to movies, he’s all over the place. People have him tattooed on their bodies. In fact, these days, they even print “The World’s Greatest Superhero” underneath his title on the actual comic.

With another movie of his coming out in just over a week, it felt time to really spell out the reasons why Superman can’t compare. Not to mention, I feel the need to post something while simultaneously having no ideas and barely any time. Not to mention, I have an overabundance of comic book knowledge yet nothing to use it for.

Except this article. Continue reading


Deadpool: A Typical Tuesday

Posted in Whatever with tags , , on 06/26/2012 by Taylor

Thanks to whoever tipped off Topless Robot, I was able to check out the video you see above you; aka A Little Much but the Closest Thing We’ll Ever Get to a Deadpool Movie, or at Least Should. I think they went with theirs because it’s shorter. Because of my article the other day, it didn’t feel right not posting this. The guy who plays Deadpool even appears to be in shape, as an extra bonus. The only thing we’re missing is the “rocks in gasoline” voice.


Five Movie Characters That Needed a Punch in the Face

Posted in Top 5 Lists with tags , , , , , , on 06/26/2012 by Taylor

Ever wanted to punch someone in the face? Course you have. Many of you no doubt have done this already. While I don’t directly condone violence, sometimes you just need it to get the job done. Self-defense counts as violence, as we all know and protecting your loved ones is a given. And while I’m not encouraging these particular celebrities in the following article to be assaulted, some characters they played sure could have benefited from it.

I don’t necessarily mean just villains either. The Joker is a villain, but he’s likable. Rattlesnake Jake is cool, and Megatron has got too much going for him as an antagonist that a punch in the face is beyond him. Unless it’s from Optimus Prime.

I’m talking about characters that just make you so mad as you’re watching the movie that you want to reach through the screen and strangle them, regardless of whether or not it’s a cartoon, a child, etc., etc….

I’m not saying it would have fixed everything. Many of these characters need something worse and by the end, might actually get it. But that doesn’t mean a punch wouldn’t have made me feel better during the times they were being such jackasses. Continue reading


Movie Review: Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 06/23/2012 by Taylor

Stars: Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, Connie Britton, Derek Luke

Rated R for language including sexual references, some drug use and brief violence, 101 minutes, Comedy/Drama/Romance

Compare to: Garden State (2004), Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008)

Normally, I’d consider Friday night a little too late to do a review but hey, I’ve only got two eyes and they can only focus on so many things at a time.

Seeking a Friend at the End of the World isn’t bad. That is, if you’re into the whole ‘quirky Indie comedy’ thing. You know what I’m talking about. The main character is introspective, quiet, hasn’t lived life to the fullest (yet), and needs to open up maybe just a little more. They’re weird, but mostly because the norm in these movies is to be self-absorbed, loud, and materialistic. Though once they find their also quirky, yet extroverted counterpart, all can be set right in the world. This is a format many movies take, this one just happens to have a comet hurtling toward the Earth at the same time. So I was serious when I said it’s good if you’re into that. Continue reading


Movie Review: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 06/22/2012 by Taylor

Stars: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Rated R for violence throughout and brief sexuality, 105 minutes, Action/Horror/Fantasy

Compare to: Jonah Hex (2010), Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012),

Good ideas gone bad are even worse than all around bad ideas because at least the former had potential. Such is the tragic case with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter; a film that seems to be under the impression that a decent idea alone is enough to keep us entertained. It’s not. I could only imagine my friend’s pain, as he is a fan of the book this trash is based on and had a problem with the conveyance of the film than to an even greater degree than I.

As he stormed out like a small child, shoving the door as though it had offended him, I thought two things: Man, he needs to control himself better, and number two: Why didn’t they make this good? Everything was laid out for them. A better pace would have been the start of the road to recovery. Continue reading