The Movie Section at Wal-Mart. Also, I can’t Sleep.

The original idea was to post a picture from Pacino’s film Insomnia. Then I saw this and just couldn’t resist.

 Something’s weird about going into Wal-Mart. It can be highly depressing, yes, going to get my oil changed there or just getting any regular groceries, but the movie section there is a beast all its own.

I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how the terrible Wolverine movie costs more than The Dark Knight or just about any other movie that’s come out in the past few years and isn’t terrible. Heck, you could buy Wolverine for about the same price as you could those movies that come in fours. You know, how they try to get rid of a single terrible movie by selling it with three others you might actually buy; The Morgan Freeman Spotlight: Se7en. Million Dollar Baby. Gone Baby Gone. Evan Almighty. I’m just standing there thinking, “Cool. Cool. Okay. CRAP.” I guess it’s a first-world problem to be bummed about the one bad apple ruining the bunch and whatnot, but I can’t help but be a little perturbed. Just leave it out! Just do what they did to the E.T. videogame and act like it never existed. Having Evan Almighty on your movie shelf is like having a couple cool tattoos with a big fat Hello Kitty tattoo in the middle. Sure, some people like it. But they’re probably eight.

Then we have the 5 dollar bin. Oh, 5 dollar bin. How I loved you one day and hate you the next. Filled with re-packaged copies of Bangkok Dangerous and flooded with Next discs that rattle around inside the case. Oh and about a month ago, there was this-

If your style of comedy hasn’t gone past the maturity level of fifteen year old (or you’re just fifteen), this must be for you how Scrooge McDuck feels when he opens his vault. There’s that midget for your party, Project X kids. So I feel like I should search through the thing anyway, but I have to be careful so I don’t spread the movies out so far that they fill in the movie hole that the guy across the bin is making. I usually tend to look for way too long before I realize that I don’t want anything in there. New movies are way too expensive and I’ve seen all the ones I want to see so many times that I’m going to have to wait awhile before I can take it again.

I finally decide that I’m gonna stop being so cheap and pay the 7.50 it takes to get Black Dynamite (2009), but take a guess which particular row has been ransacked? Oh yeah, you guessed it. Plenty of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation though. Going to Wal-Mart for movies is like checking the fridge for food after I just checked it. And what did I get after all the time I spent in the movie section? Bananas.


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