My Favorite Search Terms People Have Used to Find This Site

Not being the most well known of blogs (I’m gettin’ there, I’m gettin’ there…), I find myself overwhelmed with giddy joy when someone has come to my site by actually searching for it via search engine. I mean…I’m not like, surprised or anything…I’m just sayin’…It’s cool when someone directly seeks out my site. I also hate the word “blog” and “giddy.”

I know that they do this because I’m shown the search terms. It’s useful to know what people were originally looking for when they found my own personal corner of this big ol’ internet. So while I can get instant gratification knowing that someone was looking for my writing, I also achieve instantaneous enjoyment/confusion/fear from some of the other weird things people are looking for.

A couple more common topics people find zombiesruin by is from searching Batman or Dark Knight, which I’ve posted so many articles about in the past couple months I should just give him a category of his own. Another popular one is Master of Disguise Turtle which would lead you here. But those aren’t as fun.

Below are some of the standouts. All spelling is how the anonymous submitters typed.

 

Celebrity Deaths

  1. sam worthington dead jump off bilding
  2. ja rule ded jet ski
  3. is ja rule dead for real?
  4. ja rule deth 2012 jet ski
  5. lead singer of nickleback died

Evidently Ja Rule was thought to have died by a jet ski accident. This year, too. Who knew he was still alive? Oh! Mind you, I could keep going with the Ja Rule search variations with about ten more but I’ll spare you.Oh, and Sam Worthington may or may not have jumped off a “bilding.”
But who cares when jet skis might have “accidentally” killed Ja Rule? We need to find the culprit that killed the guy who wrote The Thong Song. Not him? Dang it, they took the wrong man! The real crime is that there hasn’t been a Kidz Bop version yet. Moving on.

Looking for Ja Rule would have taken you here.

Confused

  1. fast and furious this big boy stuff stealing safe
  2. just because your around someone you hate doesnt mean your rfake it just means your mature enough to deal with it
  3. punch in the face cartoon
  4. bow and arrow janyne move pole dance
  5. is kids poop pants the gross thing ever or is the brain the gross thing ever

As the subtitle implies, I don’t know what any of these mean. When “punch in he face cartoon” is the only thing that even resembles a intelligible search, you’re up the river. Reading the first one makes me think Vin Diesel is looking for his own movie while reading the last one tells me lil Timmy got on daddy’s computer and just went crazy. I hope he finds what he’s looking for, but it’s not here.
I Understand You, Let’s Be Friends

  1. Chuck Norris vs Rambo
  2. the matrix movies are pretentious
  3. lead singer of Nickleback died
  4. reese witherspoon ruins everything
  5. what knives did they use in man from nowhere

Now we’re talking. Chuck Norris vs Rambo?? That’s awesome. I don’t know why it would lead to my site, but hey, whatever works. Yes, The Matrix movies are pretentious! I don’t have to ask how they found me through that. The day I saw the Reese Witherspoon search was a very happy moment for me. It’s not because I hate her or anything, but rather the idea of someone disliking an actress so much that they would just type that into an engine just to see what they get. And there I’ll be. As for the one man who searched for what knives they used in Nowhere, the only one I know for sure is the knife of the villain’s right hand man. He uses a Cold Steel Steel Tiger Karambit. Nasty suckers. I’ve got a couple knives from them myself but I draw the line at karambits and broadswords.

NO. JUST NO.

  1. naked covenant boys
  2. “Taylor kitsch” wrestling
  3. avengers is better than dark knight
  4. sci fi blind man see with noise
  5. mary jane venom rape

The last one I actually caught just as the day had begun. The single view I had was from someone searching that and whaddya know- it was in Japan. “sci fi blind man see with noise” just…it just hurts. Daredevil’s name should be known throughout the land, far and wide, yet he’s been summed up with “blind man see with noise.” Oy.

I imagine someone being annoyed when they’re looking for something like “naked covenant boys” because they reach my site where I’m not only making fun of The Covenant, but there are also, in fact, none pictured naked.

MBTI Mention

  1. why sherlock holmes is intj

Ah ha! Any message boards I’ve been to usually involve all the INTJs arguing for the coolest characters and I’ve found proof as to why you find the results you’re looking for; you look, you find, you gang up and take out the competition by annihilating them through numbers. We all know INTJs rule the message boards. YOU CAN’T HAVE THEM ALL, INTJs. Although I do have Holmes as an INTJ-type movie.

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