Archive for October, 2012

Happy Halloween, People

Posted in Whatever with tags , , on 10/31/2012 by Taylor

Watch out for those razorblades. Fun fact- most candy that was ever poisoned was by the parents of the children who ingested it. Not meant to be super-morbid, it’s just interesting that the most offenders of such a crime would be the ones that are supposed to be protecting you.

I’ve also always wondered how anybody would ever eat an apple with blades in it being that it’s freaking Halloween and you’re supposed to be eating candy. Jeez, people, get it right.

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Unsung Horror Heroes

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 10/31/2012 by Taylor

The chin of a hero

Out of all the villains in Horror, and there are a lot, who talks about the heroes. We all know about how great Ash of the Evil Dead series is. After the Freddy VS. Jason movie was released, it seems it wasn’t enough to have the Horror Heavyweights alone battle it out and people wanted Ash to have a go at the both of them, that’s how bad he is and people know it. Dude, his hand was evil until he CUT IT OFF HIMSELF and added a chainsaw to it. He’s awesome. Sam Loomis is another one, as the psychiatrist out to stop Michael Myers, or at least warn anyone who will listen.

But what about the even smaller heroes of Horror? Outside of the genre, people don’t necessarily know about Ash. So it goes without saying that the characters less popular than him are not only not going to be making hand prints in cement, but possibly not even in the mud. Who are these unsung heroes of Horror? Click to find out. Oh, and just surviving isn’t good enough. You’ve got to battle the forces of evil rather than just not die. Continue reading

Horror/Comedies: Love/Hate

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 10/30/2012 by Taylor

NOW think of that Twilight line: “I’m a monster…”

Have you ever seen a movie so uneven? Especially one so purposely imbalanced. The first half acts a sort of spaghetti western, two outlaws escaping to Mexico and taking hostages along the way with no promise anybody will be making it out alive- the second half quickly charges headfirst into the Horror/Comedy genre, complete with B-movie special effects and one liners.

Why am I talking about this movie at all? Who cares about it? I don’t know, although a theater professor of mine specifically cited it as an example of a film that doesn’t know what it is, Horror, Action or Comedy. Can’t it be all three? Continue reading

Movie Review: Silent Hill Revelation

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 10/26/2012 by Taylor

Stars: Adelaide Clemens, Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Sean Bean

Rated R for violence and disturbing images, some language and brief nudity, Running time 94 minutes, Horror/Mystery/Thriller

Compare to: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Resident Evil (2002)

Silent Hill Revelation 3D decided to stay in tradition of bad video game-to-movie adaptions and make their movie awful as well. I guess if this is the case, SHR3D is faithful to its predecessor. A handful (if that) of cool visuals doesn’t make up for the acting, the lack of plot, and the general mismanagement of everybody’s time.

Do you need to read the rest or do you already get where this is going? Click anyway, give me some views. Continue reading

Movie Review: Cloud Atlas

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , , on 10/26/2012 by Taylor

Stars: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving, Keith David, Doona Bae, Susan Surandon, Ben Wishaw, Hugh Grant

Rated R for violence, language, sexuality/nudity and some drug use , 172 minutes, Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi

Compare to: The Time Machine (2003), The Fountain (2006)

 Starting a review for a movie like Cloud Atlas is like filling your plate at a buffet table: regardless of how good or bad it may be, you just don’t know where to start. Six different time periods, six different stories, multiple characters and a hundred different ways for each of them to cross paths. It’s quite a web to weave.

One thing is for sure though, no matter what role Hugo Weaving takes on, be The Matrix, Transformers, The Lord of the Rings or this, he will be playing the jerk. In this life, or the next. Or the next. Or the next. Or the- I’m trying to be witty, okay? Work with me. Continue reading

The Malevolent Deceased

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 10/25/2012 by Taylor

Last week, we were talking about the real, physical killers in Killers You Can Touch. Their oh so menacing ways of getting you in  a corner with their revved up chainsaw or their sharpened knife, and then then making you pay for all those years of child abuse that they suffered or when they had their toys taken away, what have you.

But now onto what actually has the possibility of freaking me out. That would be the supernatural side of Horror. There’s a lot of crap out there for sure, but the stuff that affects you can really get to you. Continue reading

Watching a Ton of Horror Movies- May be Depressed

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 10/24/2012 by Taylor

At my crotchety age, I don’t have all the time in the world to celebrate Halloween the way young whippersnappers do, eating candy, destroying their teeth and other people’s property, so I’ve just watched Horror movies throughout the month of October. That way, regardless of whether or not I end up going out that year to celebrate, I can say that I’ve taken notice of the holiday in one way or another.

Below is a short list of the movies I’ve watched so far and the ones I’m getting to. Suggestions for any lesser known titles are welcome. Keep in mind, I’m not saying everything I’ve watched is good, I’m just saying I viewed it. Continue reading