Watch out for those razorblades. Fun fact- most candy that was ever poisoned was by the parents of the children who ingested it. Not meant to be super-morbid, it’s just interesting that the most offenders of such a crime would be the ones that are supposed to be protecting you.
I’ve also always wondered how anybody would ever eat an apple with blades in it being that it’s freaking Halloween and you’re supposed to be eating candy. Jeez, people, get it right.
The chin of a hero
Out of all the villains in Horror, and there are a lot, who talks about the heroes. We all know about how great Ash of the Evil Dead series is. After the Freddy VS. Jason movie was released, it seems it wasn’t enough to have the Horror Heavyweights alone battle it out and people wanted Ash to have a go at the both of them, that’s how bad he is and people know it. Dude, his hand was evil until he CUT IT OFF HIMSELF and added a chainsaw to it. He’s awesome. Sam Loomis is another one, as the psychiatrist out to stop Michael Myers, or at least warn anyone who will listen.
But what about the even smaller heroes of Horror? Outside of the genre, people don’t necessarily know about Ash. So it goes without saying that the characters less popular than him are not only not going to be making hand prints in cement, but possibly not even in the mud. Who are these unsung heroes of Horror? Click to find out. Oh, and just surviving isn’t good enough. You’ve got to battle the forces of evil rather than just not die. Continue reading
NOW think of that Twilight line: “I’m a monster…”
Have you ever seen a movie so uneven? Especially one so purposely imbalanced. The first half acts a sort of spaghetti western, two outlaws escaping to Mexico and taking hostages along the way with no promise anybody will be making it out alive- the second half quickly charges headfirst into the Horror/Comedy genre, complete with B-movie special effects and one liners.
Why am I talking about this movie at all? Who cares about it? I don’t know, although a theater professor of mine specifically cited it as an example of a film that doesn’t know what it is, Horror, Action or Comedy. Can’t it be all three? Continue reading
Stars: Adelaide Clemens, Kit Harington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Sean Bean
Rated R for violence and disturbing images, some language and brief nudity, Running time 94 minutes, Horror/Mystery/Thriller
Compare to: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Resident Evil (2002)
Silent Hill Revelation 3D decided to stay in tradition of bad video game-to-movie adaptions and make their movie awful as well. I guess if this is the case, SHR3D is faithful to its predecessor. A handful (if that) of cool visuals doesn’t make up for the acting, the lack of plot, and the general mismanagement of everybody’s time.
Do you need to read the rest or do you already get where this is going? Click anyway, give me some views. Continue reading
Stars: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Jim Sturgess, Hugo Weaving, Keith David, Doona Bae, Susan Surandon, Ben Wishaw, Hugh Grant
Rated R for violence, language, sexuality/nudity and some drug use , 172 minutes, Drama/Mystery/Sci-Fi
Compare to: The Time Machine (2003), The Fountain (2006)
Starting a review for a movie like Cloud Atlas is like filling your plate at a buffet table: regardless of how good or bad it may be, you just don’t know where to start. Six different time periods, six different stories, multiple characters and a hundred different ways for each of them to cross paths. It’s quite a web to weave.
One thing is for sure though, no matter what role Hugo Weaving takes on, be The Matrix, Transformers, The Lord of the Rings or this, he will be playing the jerk. In this life, or the next. Or the next. Or the next. Or the- I’m trying to be witty, okay? Work with me. Continue reading
Last week, we were talking about the real, physical killers in Killers You Can Touch. Their oh so menacing ways of getting you in a corner with their revved up chainsaw or their sharpened knife, and then then making you pay for all those years of child abuse that they suffered or when they had their toys taken away, what have you.
But now onto what actually has the possibility of freaking me out. That would be the supernatural side of Horror. There’s a lot of crap out there for sure, but the stuff that affects you can really get to you. Continue reading
At my crotchety age, I don’t have all the time in the world to celebrate Halloween the way young whippersnappers do, eating candy, destroying their teeth and other people’s property, so I’ve just watched Horror movies throughout the month of October. That way, regardless of whether or not I end up going out that year to celebrate, I can say that I’ve taken notice of the holiday in one way or another.
Below is a short list of the movies I’ve watched so far and the ones I’m getting to. Suggestions for any lesser known titles are welcome. Keep in mind, I’m not saying everything I’ve watched is good, I’m just saying I viewed it. Continue reading
Stars: Joaquin Phoenix, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, Laura Dern
Rated R for sexual content, graphic nudity and language, 137 minutes, Drama
Compare to: The Aviator (2004), There Will Be Blood (2007)
It doesn’t surprise me that a movie from Paul Thomas Anderson, director of Boogie Nights (1997) and Magnolia (2000), would receive such unanimous critical acclaim for anything else he does. He’s a director much like Aronofsky and Kubrick, it seems he can do no wrong.
Younger audiences and casual viewers won’t care for this one, I can tell you that up front. But for those who are looking to take part in a film that isn’t going for any idea that you don’t figure out on your own- this is for you. That’s not to say it’s perfect, but it tight-rope walks the line. Continue reading
“You’re DONE, Madea. I’m tired of all the head slapping. I’m Morgan Freeman now.”
After some confusion about the time that I was going to see the new Tyler Perry’s Alex Cross, I entered late and caught the end. I’m thankful for this. Continue reading
Stars: Katie Featherston, Kathryn Newton, Matt Shively
Rated R for language and some violence/terror, Running time 88 minutes, Horror/Mystery
Compare to: The Messengers (2007), The Last Exorcism (2010)
It seems like just yesterday I was sitting in a dark auditorium watching the home movie recordings of a haunted house/possessed family, the other audience members screaming every time a loud thump was sounded. But it wasn’t yesterday, it was last year. And I had the same feeling in 2011, but that was recalling back to 2010. Do you get the point? These movies all feel the same.
Is that a bad thing? Well, bad is a strong word. But the series has gotten slightly stale in its delivery. In a series that hinges on it’s endings, those are what might be the most predictable aspect of the movies. The tricks and gags used throughout the film are still fun but it’s the supposed twists and “surprises” that leave the film in a wanton state. Continue reading
Zombies Ruin Everything 