Killers You Can Touch

Boo! Tee hee, got you!

A question that gets brought up every so often among Horror fans and people who just happen to be there is one of never ending debate: What’s scarier to you, the supernatural villain, or the real, physical, unstoppable murderer? Both have their turrible traits while some people can be divided once the topic is brought up.

One seems real and immediate but to the people who find reality more disturbing, they’ll turn the supernatural into something that doesn’t affect them. Those who see ghosts and demons as more of a threat are more likely to view serial killers and their weapons as something they can deal with and trivial in comparison. This post will be discussing more of the “real” villains, the physical and tangible.

Who comes to mind for you when you think of these villains? I keep thinking of the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th because I uploaded the picture for my last article, but in general, that’s not really what I fear. It seems the scariest movie of the last decade is one that really just annoyed me when I watched it. Come to think of it, most movies out nowadays that are considered scary really just do much for me. As far as the real killers in cinema go, everybody pisses on themselves over The Strangers (2008).

While I did like their use of having the villain reveal themselves in the shadows, and then just leave after having been there (as the poster showcases), much of the movie felt boring and predictable. We knew the villains weren’t going to be revealed, they’d kept their ominous presence too strongly a la Michael Myers while an unmasking and happy ending would’ve been too generic. It was lose/lose and to see that coming is to lose interest. Fun fact, if you consider this fun: The blonde girl who plays one of the three “strangers” is also the lead mermaid in the most recent Pirates of the Caribbean.

Maybe they’re born with it…

You could definitely argue that 28 Days Later falls into this category. I say “argue” because zombies movies (generally speaking) have taken on a life of their own. They don’t really fit in with the physical psycho that I’m mostly speaking of when real-world killers are brought up, but their supernatural, voodoo-type origins are also something to be brought into account. In the end, it’s proabably more accurate to type these things as more of a “natural monster,” something along the lines of the shark from Jaws (Bruce) or even the absurdly conceived murderous plants in The Happening (2008). What we’re really sticking to in this article are more of the personal stories though, rather than global killers.

The real global killer is stupidity and I don’t know how Tatum isn’t dead yet.

If we’re going as far back as anyone cares to go with this, Michael Myers seems to be the poster boy for physical threats. Between him and Jason Voorhees, skin doesn’t crawl any worse when these two are around. They’re big, quick (relatively), dangerous, and they don’t want anything else but to take your life. When the reason is brought up that the idea these guys are so freaky is because they could be stopped, they just aren’t, it just adds to my frustration with the movies. The bumbling security guys are the only ones with guns and what good are they? They’re bumbling. Throughout the years, both characters have become icons in Horror but cinema as a whole so it does confuse me as to why all these sequels that get made only serve to make money and take away from the character? I guess that’d be the reason for the reboots. “Look, guys- THIS is different!”

Leatherface seems more frightening on the side of physical killers. He doesn’t go out and about like the others, into neighborhoods and campsites. He stays at his crappy house, waiting for victims to come to him. It’s a similar idea with The Hills Have Eyes although that film, in all it’s variations don’t resonate the same as the Hewitt family does. Leatherface and might be the creepiest of all the tangible villains due to the fact that it’s made clear that the victims don’t have weapons; they were just trying to pass through. That being said, there’s no way for them to escape save for sheer luck, if you want to call it that. His family and him do the horrible things they do for what reason? To experiment. Freaking weird.

HEY! Killing people and wearing their faces doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. Okay, I don’t.

This, and the fact that he’s another hulk of a killer that won’t be reasoned with because he only wants the basest and most horrible of desires. Your pain, of course! Weeee. In the remakes, also shown to not only be mentally challenged, but disfigured, mute, and have some form of an inferiority complex. If this guy wants you- he gon’ getcha. Here’s a trailer to the new one, due to be released this January. 3D, of course. It looks to be another group of a bunch of good looking idiots who walk into someone’s house that they don’t know. We know how that always turns out.

The song is “The Beast in me” by Mark Lanegan, FYI. Surprised to see it in there. To round it out, the real killers will always have their place in Hollywood, no matter how bad their movies may be. Keep reading for the second part, dealing the other side of your favorite killers in Hollywood (no, not cocaine and alcohol) the ghosts and demons.

Maybe even you, Grudge boy.

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