Zombies Ruin Everything

At my crotchety age, I don’t have all the time in the world to celebrate Halloween the way young whippersnappers do, eating candy, destroying their teeth and other people’s property, so I’ve just watched Horror movies throughout the month of October. That way, regardless of whether or not I end up going out that year to celebrate, I can say that I’ve taken notice of the holiday in one way or another.

Below is a short list of the movies I’ve watched so far and the ones I’m getting to. Suggestions for any lesser known titles are welcome. Keep in mind, I’m not saying everything I’ve watched is good, I’m just saying I viewed it.

1. Fright Night (1985)
2. Fright Night (2011)
3. Interview with a Vampire (1994)

4. Let Me In (2010)- If you haven’t watched this and are into vampires at all, you’ve gotta watch it. The original Swedish counterpart, Let the Right One In, is also great but the two only differ in the details.

5. Wes Craven’s The Shocker (1989)

After studios wanted another Freddy Krueger, Craven gave them one, but with disastrous results. After being sent to the electric chair, serial killer Horace Pinker comes back to life to take revenge on the kid that got him caught. The weirder things about this film are more in the actors than the film itself- Director Peter Berg (The Rundown, 2003, Battleship, 2012) as the main kid, while Timothy Leary pops up as a television evangelist and freakin’ John Tesh as a news reporter.
6. Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)– Direct to DVD Hellraiser sequel, the fifth installment. Directed by Sinister director, Scott Derrickson. Pretty much an awful film. It’s one of those types you eventually start paying attention again and go through the thoughts “Man, this is still on? How long IS this movie?”
7. Sleepy Hollow (1999)
8. The Collector (2009)

Get ready for the sequel, due this November. I’m actually excited for this despite the original’s many problems. It seems like rejected ideas from the Saw movies or if Kevin McCallister grew up to be a serial killer. This isn’t surprising as it’s written by the guy who wrote Saw IV, V, and VII  and was originally meant to be the prequel. think what I liked about it was that it wasn’t a straight cat-and-mouse Horror film but it’s the thief versus the serial killer. Someone is actively trying to outwit and, more or less, defeat the killer rather than just survive. We don’t get that much. Stars Josh Stewart, who you may recognize from The Dark Knight Rises as Bane’s right hand man.

9. The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
10. Seven (1996)
11. Psycho (1998)
12. Drag Me To Hell (2009)
13. The Prophecy (1995)
14. The Prophecy II (1998)
15. Land of the Dead (2005)

OMG GO BURN YOUR BRAS OR SOMETHING FOR REAL THO

This film shows Romero’s change in style over the years. For a guy that defined a genre, he seems a little too aware of it. Here, humans are the bad guys, everybody had lame nicknames, and zombies “are just lookin’ for a place to go…same as us.” They have rights too, blah blah blah. Psh. They’re zombies, people. That’s the fun in it, just KILL them. Can’t help but love Dennis Hopper and John Leguizamo though. Reuniting after a decade apart since Super Mario Bros., weeeee!
16. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
17. Dawn of the Dead (2004)
18. Planet Terror (2007)
19. A Bucket of Blood (1959)

If you get a chance, watch this one, you won’t be disappointed. It’s actually free on Youtube and it’s only an hour long. Set in the beatnik culture, a lonely outcast starts making life-like sculptures that become the talk of the cafes and art houses. But some are starting to notice how life-like the statues really are… Click on the link if you want to see a classic.
20. The Ape Man (1943)– Pretty funny movie involving Bela Lugosi as an ape/human hybrid, running around murdering people with a guy in a gorilla suit.
21. The Invisible Man (1933)– Eh, don’t know if it’s actually Horror per se, but the invisible man does have a wicked laugh and murder a bunch of people.
22. The Faculty (1999)
23. Insidious (2011)– First legitimately creepy movie to be made in a looong time. Really funny too, albeit places it’s not supposed to be.
24. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)– Pretty much sucked but Jackie Earle Haley as Freddy and Rooney Mara as Nancy worked for me. If only they could get everything else right.
25. Wrong Turn (2003)

Ones I’m looking forward to:

1. Saw (2004)
2. The Frighteners (1996)
3. Dead Alive (1992)
4. Evil Dead II (1987)
5. The Exorcist (1973)
6. The Thing (1982)

As far as I’m concerned, those last six are all the Horror you need. I’m also aware enough of my own feelings to realize the mild state of depression I’m experiencing, possibly due to overexposure to these movies. I’m having recurring nightmares that include me killing a younger version of myself while the old woman from Insidious tells me I did a good job.

Please send help.

–T

This entry was posted on 10/24/2012 at 3:27 pm and is filed under Whatever with tags a bucket of blood, good movies, halloween, horror movies, insidous, the collector 2009. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.