Archive for January, 2013

Movie Review: Movie 43

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 01/26/2013 by Taylor Holt

movie-43

Stars: Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Emma Stone, Kate Bosworth, Justin Long, Jason Sudeikis, Halle Berry, Stephen Merchant, Terrance Howard, Johnny Knoxville…

Rated R for strong pervasive crude and sexual content including dialogue, graphic nudity, language, some violence and drug use, Running time 90 minutes, Comedy

Compare to: The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977)

Whenever a film is marketed with the strategy of shoving giant words in your face that say things like “MOST OFFENSIVE MOVIE EVER” or “Critics are calling it ‘DISGUSTING. REPULSIVE. HILARIOUS.” it’s going to be a movie that has more underage kids sneaking into it than adults actually buying tickets. I feel a very short review coming on. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 01/25/2013 by Taylor Holt

h&G

Stars: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Pihla Viitala, Thomas Mann, Peter Stormare

Rated R for strong fantasy horror violence and gore, brief sexuality/nudity and language, Running time 88 minutes, Action/Fantasy/Horror

Compare to: Van Helsing (2004), The Brothers Grimm (2005)

It’s tough to know where to start with this one. Expectations were so low, it would almost have been a feat for creators to meet them.

That being said, this movie is not good. Worse has been made sure, and even worse has already been released this year, but that’s not saying much for this movie either- “Eh, there’s worse out there.” Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Silver Linings Playbook

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 01/23/2013 by Taylor Holt

silver-linings-playbook

Stars: Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, Chris Tucker, Jacki Weaver, Julia Stiles, John Ortiz

Rated R for language, some sexual content/nudity, Running time 122 minutes, Comedy/Drama

Compare to: Little Miss Sunshine (2006), Our Idiot Brother (2011)

It’s always fun to see a Drama that doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Finding a film that deals with such serious issues as mental illness, infidelity, family dysfunction and football, it’s nice for them to be dealt with seriously while allowing you to laugh at the same time. All without the general tone of cynicism that usually accompanies movies like this. Continue reading →

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Move Review: Broken City

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 01/23/2013 by Taylor Holt

Broken-City

Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jeffrey Wright, Barry Pepper, Kyle Chandler, Natalie Martinez

Rated R for pervasive language, some sexual content and violence, Running time 109 minutes, Action/Mystery/Crime

Compare to: Body of Lies (2008), Contraband (2011)

Mark Wahlberg and Russel Crowe showing up in this movie together is fated. Their choices in roles are so winding and twisted like lines on a map that it’s inevitable at some point, lines would intersect if only for a brief moment, then be back on their way as if it never happened in the first place.

That’s what Broken City is too. Random, brief, forgettable. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Mama

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 01/23/2013 by Taylor Holt

mama

Stars: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Jane Moffat

Rated R for violence and terror, some disturbing images and thematic elements, Running time 100 minutes, Horror/Thriller/Suspense

Compare to: The Orphanage (2007), The Woman in Black (2012)

When you think of PG-13 Horror, good thoughts and decent acting don’t normally come to mind.  Mama falls into many of the same pitfalls that PG-13 Horror does, yet averts them in the majority of cases.

Creepy, unsettling, well balanced; Mama is surprisingly, about as good as I was hoping it would be. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: A Haunted House

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 01/23/2013 by Taylor Holt

haunted house

Stars: Marlon Wayans, Cedric the Entertainer, Essence Atkins, David Koechner, Nick Swardson

Rated R for for crude and sexual content, language and some drug use, Running time 86 minutes, Comedy/Parody

Compare to: The Scary Movie Franchise (1999-2006)

It almost seems stupid to review this movie at all. You’ve got to know what you’re getting into by now with a Wayans brother involved in a project and you haven’t been paying attention if you don’t know that parody movies are their niche. Not only that, you could go so far as to blame them for all the horrible parody movies that occasionally lurch their way into theaters every couple years.

You know what I’m talking about. The poster will always be a random assortment of characters from movies that often times have nothing to do with the genre they’re supposedly mocking. I happened to find this poster and chose it over the more common one of, you guessed it, all the characters standing next to each other. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Gangster Squad

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 01/23/2013 by Taylor Holt

gangster-squad

Stars: Josh Brolin, Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Giovanni Ribisi, Nick Nolte, Anthony Mackie, Robert Patrick, Michael Michael Pena

Rated R for for strong violence and language, Running time 92 minutes, Action/Crime/Drama

Compare to: The Untouchables (1987), Tombstone (1993)

It’s funny how attracted people are to the lifestyle of gangsters and killers. No matter what they’ve been exposed for doing, people never tire of the old school ways of suits, guns, cars, and basically just doing whatever you want, regardless of what side of the law you’re on. Continue reading →

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Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 01/21/2013 by Taylor Holt

texas

Stars: Alexandria Daddario, Dan Yeager, Trey Songz, Scott Eastwood, Tania Raymonde, Shaun Sipos

Rated R for strong grisly violence and language throughout, Running time 92 minutes, Horror

Compare to: Friday the 13th (2009), Shark Night (2011)

When people think of starting off the new year, it very often involves fireworks, tax season, and promises to yourself about weight loss. Not Lionsgate. They apparently thinking of dismemberment, a tired franchise, and awful storytelling.

Oh, and trying to make a hero out of the film’s lead antagonist. Sorry guys, it just doesn’t work this way. Continue reading →

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Top Five Worst of 2012

Posted in Top 5 Lists, Whatever with tags , , , , on 01/09/2013 by Taylor Holt

worstmov5

…And here’s the Crap List. While I don’t feel nearly as positive posting this one, I’ve got to be honest in saying that this does feel therapeutic. Typing out this list of awful movies is kind like of heavily exhaling after running out of a public bathroom that somebody else destroyed.

And while there was much, much more garbage that came out this year, many (Alex Cross) I’ve never done reviews on because some movies people are just going to watch regardless of how bad you know it’s going to be. So below are the ones that, eh, could’ve been something…they just weren’t. Continue reading →

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The Top Five of 2012

Posted in Top 5 Lists with tags , , , , on 01/08/2013 by Taylor Holt

halle

After (woo hoo!) an entire of reviewing movies, this is what it comes down to; the best of the best, the most amazing, well scripted, melodramatic dramas that Hollywood has to offer… maybe not, but these are my most enjoyable and well made films of 2012. As far as I’m concerned, the second half of the year was much better than the first half, while the year all around just kicked the balls of 2011, despite the huge titles that came out.

I’m looking at you, Twilight and Hangover 2. Continue reading →

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