Ramble On

singer3

So have you heard Denzel Washington, Idris Elba, and Colin Salmon are considered for Superman’s arch nemesis, Lex Luthor? Well, they are.

And in the same day, Bryan Singer (director of X-Men, X-Men 2, and whatever this new one is called) has announced that he may or may not have something to do with another X-Men movie coming out in 2016 with X-men baddie  Apocalypse as the main villain.

Where do you get off, Singer? I’ve never understood that phrase until now.

I used to think that had some weird sexual connotations to it but now I see that it’s more along the lines of “When are you going to stop?” or “When are you going to be done?

"Mm...how's 'never?' Tee hee!" -Singer

“Mm…How’s ‘never?’ Tee hee!” – Bryan Singer

When Singer made his comment about how his new X-Men movie was going to erase the memories of the Brett Ratner disaster (Nice ring to it) X-Men: The Last Stand, all I could think was “What about what you did?”

People give credit to Singer for helping kick-start the comic book movie subgenre at a time when very few could get through the gate, but as far as I’m concerned, he didn’t do us any favors. We just keep getting announcements years before the things even lift off the ground as if the director’s fart should keep us satisfied. I’m laughing as I type this, but really- why are they announcing sequel release dates and major characters for a movie that hasn’t even come out yet?

It’s like saying “What do you want for your birthday? Because I know what I’m getting you in two years!” Want me to tell you? I’ll tell you- a BIKE.”

This bike.

This bike.

Nobody asked for this bike, Singer! I know somebody’s making you do this to keep up with all the crazy Batman/Superman movie news but man, can we not show a little modesty here? Yeah, we’re talking comics and their movies but let’s pretend this a little more to this than who’s got the bigger cast of characters. See what I did there? Yeah, you did.

It’s a little much to announce all the new cast members to the Batman/Superman movie as well, though all that seems to be actual announcements or just rumors going around- not simply saying “Apocalypse! 2016!” on your Twitter account from the guy who will be directing the friggin’ thing. I wonder if he was shaking with excitement at the idea of everybody freaking out over his words, knowing he’d be sending thousands of pseudo-fans to their computer to find out who Apocalypse is.

"Ya dude. Hes a mutat 2 i thenk. Gunna be tight wen we gradiate tha sam year."

“Ya dude. Hes a mutat 2 i thenk. Gunna be tight wen we gradiate tha sam year.”

Maybe I’m just jealous. Maybe there’s a little part of me that says “Wow. To have that kind of power. The kind of power that just says ‘I wanna make this movie so I’m gonna do it, time means nothing to me.” Or maybe Singer was just announcing the REAL Apocalypse by that year and I’m gonna feel like a real JERK for writing all of this.

But then I just imagine 20th Century Fox holding Singer in a dungeon and screaming at him that it’s lights out until the next day of shooting or until Jack the Giant Slayer makes all its money back.

"I'll show them. I'll show them ALL. When I get it out, I'm going to make SEVEN more X-men..."

“I’ll show them. I’ll show them ALL. When I get it out, I’m going to make SEVEN more X-men… Then we’ll see who’s laughing.”

Just…just please Singer- don’t do us any favors with Deadpool. He’s been through enough and after what you did to Iceman and Cyclops, I can’t take anymore heartbreak.

"Mommy, I can make ice powuhz?"

“Mommee, I can make ice powuhz? Otay.”

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