Zombies Ruin Everything

Here it is, people! The best of the best! Scrubs need not apply! No really, some of these are your stereotypical A-list dramas, sure to top everybody’s “Best of the Year” lists because they’re just that good, while others are just more personal choices that you’ll find others wouldn’t watch again if you paid them.

Well, screw them, right? You don’t watch movies because what somebody else says, do you? Unless it’s me, of course. You can listen to me.

Best of the Year Overall

5. Man of Steel

“Are you there, Zod? It’s me, Kal.”

“OHMUHGAW Taylor, what are you doing?? You call yourself a critic? This movie was big, loud and dumb! Your Top 5? I’m not reading this anymore!” is what I’m imagining a lot you saying to yourselves.

If you couldn’t tell from previous posts, I appreciated this movie for everything that the others weren’t- exploration of the superhuman alien’s outlook on humanity (or at least struggling with his loneliness), massive fights and the fact that Lois Lane knows who Superman really is.

Let’s hope they don’t overdo it with the sequel that’s set to feature Batman, Wonder Woman and who knows who else, coming out in 2015.

4. American Hustle

Con men, corrupt cops and their leading ladies, there were few other movies that feature the same things with the same level of quality.

Christian Bale’s dedication to his trade and everyone else doing their best to keep up didn’t present itself as one strong link with a bunch of weak ones; but everyone doing their best to tell the best story they could. Challenge accepted and overcome.

3. Wolf of Wall Street

In a similar vein to Hustle, albeit with no redeemable characters, Martin Scorcese’s 1980s three hour Wall Street epic is similar to Goodfellas or Casino in its style and narration but trades in the gangsters and murder for salesmen and rip-offs. Oh, and Quaaludes. Massive amounts of those. Great movie, terrible people.

2. Only God Forgives

I feel like I’ve talked about this movie enough throughout the year but what can I say? Ryan Gosling has been on a roll. Gangster Squad is fun, The Place Beyond the Pines is a thought provoker and Forgives is somewhere between the two. The soundtrack, the cinematography and the depths you can go to in this film is a place directors rarely take you. All in an hour and a half.

I also have to admit that so many people hating this movie makes it that much easier to see the positive in it.

1. 12 Years a Slave

I always think of Eddie Murphy’s line in Bowfinger during his portrayal of pompous big shot actor, Kit Ramsey:

” A black dude who plays a slave that gets his ass whipped gets the nomination, a white guy who plays an idiot gets the Oscar. That’s what I need, I need to play a retarded slave, then I’ll get the Oscar.”

The certain amount of truth in the line is what makes it funny but we can’t help it if the quality is still there.

One of the best movies I’ve ever seen is also one of the toughest to watch. When a movie can be as specific in its time period and story yet it’s themes are universal, that’s a key to success that isn’t going to be matched often if at all.

All the performances, the pacing, the dialogue- none of the subject matter were things that I generally prefer in a film but this movie is proof that when it’s all done right, it can’t be denied how impactful it is.

Honorable Mention

1. The World’s End

2. Fruitvale Station

This one nearly slipped under the radar for a lot of people as did the 2009 incident that inspired it. It was interesting and refreshing to watch a film that showed a man in his last day on earth while painting of a portrait of the victim and the person rather than aligning with one side of the story and creating caricaturization of everyone else.

3. New World

Seriously- Netflix. Check it out. You’ll never guess how it ends.

4. Don Jon

It was interesting how divided this film made people. Specifically, men and women. While men appreciated the message, many women were quick to point out the fact that a movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt and his addiction to porn wasn’t the most enticing movie to be released.

Yet the underlying message to grasp on what porn does to men and Romance movies do to women’s psyche was something that rarely gets tackled in real life, much less film. Unique choice for JGL’s directorial/writing debut.

I also wonder how European audiences would react to this film, seeing as how different their views on sexuality are from a Western perspective. If you don’t live in a country with similar views on the subject matter, I see a lot of confusion taking place.

5. Elysium

Just for Fun

1. Pacific Rim

2. Evil Dead

The car had to make an appearance.

I’d almost forgotten about this one since April feels like it was forever ago but man, if this wasn’t a remake taken to the extreme. While there’s no matching Bruce Campbell’s wit and cheese, the makers of this one took the original’s previously ridiculous feel and turned it into over-the-top true horror.

From the make up to CGI, I was glad to see this one done. Though not having a chainsaw in place of someone’s hand and having no one to really root for made it fall short of the original as expected. But really though- did anyone expect them to bring that back. It’s kind of a one-off.

And who didn’t love the “Groovy” cameo at the end?

3. GI JOE: Retaliation

4. 47 Ronin

The real bird man.

Seriously, what the heck. Why are critics dumping on this movies o bad? Because it’s got a lot of CGI and they’d been told the budget kept inflating throughout production, that’s why. If critics ever know about a CGI-fest, they’re immediately leaning toward rating it with a “D” for “Dumb…”

Upon watching the Neo-in-Japan remake, I was pleasantly surprised with a movie that wasn’t that smart, but had the right amount of action that we’re not going to see very often in the future due to plot constraints. Reeves sword fighting demons? Mark that off the “To-do” list for Hollywood because we’ve now seen it.

5. Bad Grandpa

C’mon- this movie was hilarious.

This entry was posted on 01/02/2014 at 12:29 am and is filed under Top 5 Lists, Whatever with tags american hustle, best movies of the year, wolf of wall street. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.