MBTI: Why ESTJs are Always Going to be Bad Guys
You know an ESTJ and he is a jerk. I know it’s tough to hear, right? Maybe your friend but probably your boss- is a big fat jerk, isn’t he? He’s crass, loud, bossy and always see people as being with or against him. If you don’t know an ESTJ, there are one of two reasons for that.
One is that you have distanced yourself from so much of society that you’ve actually managed to avoid this type (Sensitive, are we?) or you just are that guy that people run from. But it doesn’t have to be this way, does it?
Pretty much.
That’s always what’s mentioned about ESTJs, how bossy they are. In fiction, they’re always portrayed as the loud mouth chief that only withholds from firing the two rogue coppers because dammit, they get the job done and that’s when they’re the good guys.
The other role they play is only a split hair away from their good guy role and that’s the guy carrying out his job which happens to be the opposite of what the protagonist wants. He’s not evil, just doing his job.
Sure, they’ve broken the mold occasionally but not to such an extent that they ever really play the main guy. Often times, even when they’re on the side of the good guys, they still piss the protagonist off to the point that he could easily be considered an antagonist. Just look at Hank from Breaking Bad or the any dad in a movie about whiny teenagers. He just wants you to fulfill family tradition and be a Harvard Alumni son! Can’t you just let him live through you?
No Bon Jovi! Tell me you’re not not an advocate of domestic abuse too! NOOOOOO-
Even the loudmouth Chief fits into the role of hindering the protagonist at times, doesn’t he?
“Sandowski. Summers. You know I hate to do this to ya, but…Turn in your badge and gun. You’re on leave till this whole mess blows over.”
Look at Harvey Dent. Poor Harvey. He’s hilariously typed as an Idealist I guess because he’s idealistic in The Dark Knight. Sorry Idealists, ya can’t have everybody that wants to make the world a better place!
He was also known as “Neon Tommy” circa 1995.
But Dent just wanted to change things with Batman. Who wouldn’t want to do that? No matter who you are, it’s the ultimate team-up. I bet Obama and Putin are pissed off that being in such positions only affords you so much power. Sure, you’re supposedly the head of your countries but you’ll never be able to team up with Batman.
Although Harvey had a plan for a better, cleaner city, any version of him ultimately ends with half of his face jacked up and he ends up a murderer. Not only that, a psychotic that can’t make up his mind without flipping a coin.
Black and white, winning or losing, right or wrong. They have no in between do they?
No.
So what am I saying here? That ESTJs are always the bad guys and will never be anything else which somehow relates to their real-life counterparts which suggests that they will never be more than arrogant buttwipes, destined to be sworn enemies of anything in opposition to their own ideas and rules?
That’s how it all seems, doesn’t it?
I made a video a while back about Guardians and have referenced it several times since.
It has to do with what role Guardians play in our every day lives. Sure there’s a lot of them but the point of MBTI isn’t to type someone, box them up and set them to the side because a general description of their type is unfavorable to you. You’re supposed to be getting a better grasp of said type and use that information to better your relationship with them.
Or just know to avoid them altogether, whatever.
“Screw you, man! $7.75 isn’t enough to take this!” *Huff…Huff…*
If you wanted to, you could do this with any type but it’s something similar (albeit on a much smaller scale) to racism.
I bring up ESTJs because in real life they can be hard to get along with. But there’s a reason for that. Just look at their functions. They’re practically hard-wired to tell somebody what to do.
No matter what they’re job is; soldier, manager, bus boy, war lord- their Extraverted Thinking is going to be their dominant function and it’s just prodding them to correct the behavior of those around them.
*Inside of an ESTJ’s head at work*
This isn’t right. We’ve GOT to do it right. Somebody needs to makes sure that- are you kidding me They’re really doing it like that? I can’t take this anymore.
“Hey! Hey, guys! That’s not how you do it…”
“If you can’t play with these STUPID Legos right, I’m taking them away! Love you, sweetie.”
Te is constructive so ESTJs are always wanting things to be orderly and stable. So while you think it’s just so great to waste all that time on clock because hey, corporate isn’t here, your ESTJ manager isn’t familiar with relaxation and you need to get to work.
Imagine any time you’ve wanted to correct someone for a belief that’s misguided, a statement that seemed out of line, or someone around you was just generally being an idiot and you just can’t take it anymore. Anybody coming to mind for you? Isn’t it frustrating to you? Especially when you know it would make things worse to speak up but you just can’t take it anymore…
That’s the ESTJ’s entire life and why they often seem so stressed out. They have their way and they’re built to change things to make themselves comfortable. I’m not saying you have to like it, but I’m also saying they can hardly even help it. Think about whatever problems people have with you. Do you see it as a problem to be solved? Something for you to work on and better yourself for the sake of others?
Or do you see it as their problem?
“Y’know, if we hadn’t inherited such a mess in the first place…” *Spoken by every president maybe ever*
Part of the problem with ESTJ anyway is that even if they agree with you on the topic, belief, idea, etc., they still operate by pushing this onto others. Another word would be to “impose.” It’s just in them to make sure everyone around them does the best possible job or to know the right things as much as it’s in their power.
We’ve all got our issues and often times, we try to keep it to ourselves and not make it others problems. But your quiet depression or occasional outbursts once every few months are just as damaging in their own way.
As we discussed before, when a character is written, it’s not until all is said and done that we’d be able to type them. And the ESTJ is always reserved for the annoying guy in charge that can’t do anything unless the book says so. If they weren’t written any other way, they wouldn’t be ESTJ. Not because ESTJs can’t change or evolve, but they’ll always be on the side of making sure things happen. Other types better suited to be in positions of change and growth while the ESTJ’s strength is stability and resolution.
“Get like me.”
Do yourself a favor and keep in mind that not everybody is as self-aware or in tune with their own emotions or thoughts.
Even people heavily interested in type theory have a tendency to look down on a type that’s known for being a bully while any other qualities are quickly forgotten because it’s easy to just dismiss things we don’t like rather than understand and deal with them.
“GOT IT, DETECTIVE?!”
Other Articles On Types in Film-
Zombies Ruin Everything 
10/06/2014 at 3:59 pm
I know some ESTJs in real life and we actually have a pretty great relationship. When an ESTJ likes you, you know it and they let you know it. That’s gotta count for something, right?
10/07/2014 at 12:54 am
Oh, I’m cool with ESTJs. Occasional contributor Bryce is one. But we all know how they can be…
07/28/2015 at 1:47 am
ESTJs are better at displacing responsibility than they are at accepting it. It is only healthy to realize this tendency and to understand they are opportunists. The will kick you when your down so keep your guard up around them and the will leave you alone.
They are good for ISTPs and that is about it.
07/29/2015 at 12:56 am
Whoa, that sounds like some rough experiences.
09/13/2015 at 4:49 pm
Not true. We are always the first person to admit our mistakes. How can I hold others to a standard I won’t hold myself to?
07/12/2019 at 11:17 am
I think one of the differences is whether the ESTJ is an -A or a -T, and whether they’re healthy or not. My mom is a Turbulent, mostly-unhealthy ESTJ who fits many-basically all-of the unpleasant stereotypes when stressed, in any state of excitement, or just generally not in a flowers and sunshine mood. The way she talks to and about people make me and my sister-an ENFJ-T and INFP respectively-cringe. She and my brother-and ESTP-frequently argue over the littlest things, and when she can’t find facts to back up her side, she’ll resort to making them up, name-calling, and telling the other person to “shut up” and “stop being disrespectful”. Yet, she constantly does things for people and gives of her time and energy as a way of showing affection. It makes no sense to me because she’ll spend hours of her time doing something for you, then turn around and chew you out for something.
On the other hand, I have a friend who is a-seemingly-healthy ESTJ. He does have a talent for arguing and making somewhat offensive comments, but he’ll willingly apologize if he learns that he’s hurt someone he cares about and tries not to do so. He has a great sense of humor that doesn’t rely on mockery and he can be very affectionate.
Just as with all types, -A and -T, and healthy or unhealthy can make a big difference. A healthy ENFJ is a warm, caring person who just about everyone loves. An unhealthy ENFJ-Loki of Asgard, for instance-is manipulative, narcissistic, and all over the place.
08/31/2015 at 6:28 pm
I’m sorry, but I just can’t be around them. My older sister is an ESTP (I’m INFP) and she’s made me feel like shit my whole life. She claims to want to understand me and then ignores every explanation I give to her. Whenever I’m angry or sad it’s all MY fault, because nothing she ever does is wrong. She always kicks me when I’m down and makes fun of me when I’m angry and turns up her nose at my interests. As long as I can help it, I will avoid ESTPs for the rest of my god damned life. I have no intention of understanding someone who puts in zero effort into understanding me.
07/12/2019 at 11:19 am
My sister is an INFP, and I can attest to the fact that my ESTJ mother wreaks havoc with her NF traits and stresses her out with the Te
10/24/2015 at 1:20 pm
Sorry, I’m going to have to disagree. It’s impossible for a huge group of people to all act the same or annoying. Not all ESTJ’s are like that. It’s being stereotypical. I myself am an ESTJ and I’m really nice and polite (My friends even complain about how polite…) Although I wouldn’t want to be the one who gets me mad. Sometimes I do question if I am an ESTJ, but truth be told there’s no doubt. I am able to hold my tongue unless I’m truly pissed. I understand where you’re getting this stereotype. I do notice most ESTJ’s in shows or movies are complete jerks, but obviously not all of us are like that. You just have to find the right one. I hope you understand what I’m getting to. In a whole that is a common, misleading stereotype of us ESTJ’s.
10/26/2015 at 11:37 pm
I haven’t read this post in a while but I do remember writing it under the pretense of how ESTJs are written in fiction, not how they always are in reality. There have only been two other writers to contribute directly to this site and one of them is an ESTJ. The MBTI stereotypes/tropes in writing are what we focus on and ways that they relate to us, rather than the specific behaviors of types you can find on any decent typing site.
04/09/2016 at 1:29 pm
It’s been a while since coming to this post and I have noticed that in fiction most personality types are over exaggerated, and I mean utterly exaggerated. Though, reading this article again I can’t seem to fathom how this is based on fictional ESTJs. In the beginning it clearly states, “You know an ESTJ and he is a jerk.” Not only that, but in your reply you had stated, “…ways that they relate to us.” You can’t deny how much it sounds like you’re talking about us in reality. Going back to the idea of fictional ESTJs, many people tend to ignore whether or not the person is real or fake, they just are focused on the general aspect of what type they are.
I’m sorry if I confused you, but I’m just trying to stick up for my fellow misunderstood ESTJs. I will also admit I was a bit ignorant, being too caught up in the moment of anger to further look into your website. XD I do have trouble admitting my wrongs, but I respect you so, I’m willing to do so. Thanks for hearing me out and I’m sorry for any inconvenience. Anyways, enjoy your day!
06/25/2018 at 3:12 am
Ah, damn. I have no way of editing this old ass comment, but I meant to say ESTJ lol. And yeah, @Zara, you’re right. I was a teen at the time of making that comment. Since then my sister and I have come to understand one another. She’s actually really nice. Though to be honest, if I did try to be friends with another ESTJ, it probably wouldn’t work out, lol.
06/25/2018 at 3:14 am
Dang it, wrong thread.
10/29/2015 at 7:56 pm
An ENFP living with an ESTJ and ESTP couple is rough, let me tell you what…
07/12/2019 at 11:22 am
Wow. My mom and brother are ESTJ and ESTP respectively. I couldn’t imagine an NF type living with two grown adults of those types.
04/23/2016 at 12:31 am
Although I disagree with the idea that you can Stereo every MBTI and use such strong words as “always,” I do agree the ESTJ’s I’ve met have not been compatible with me at all (I’m an ENFP). I really hate this ESTJ that I hooked up with because she is so fucking selfish and narrow minded. Something about my NP functions do not mingle well with SJ. All she gives a fuck about is her status and is extremely judgmental behind her really nice facade. The stuff she talks about is pretty superficial and I don’t really care for, and vise versa. And man does she sleep around! I really thought she was a really good friend when I first met her, but the longer I stay around her, the more I realized that she was pretty fucking judgemental and selfish. They are friendly on the surface (generally speaking) but their T and J functions make them an ice cold machine. They will use you and dispose of you if you do not fit their agenda. Beware. I just cannot stand ESTJ’s or at least this one.
06/21/2018 at 6:03 am
dude i agree. ESTJs are the type that will look at you and smile and then boss you around like a little dog. All the stereotypes are correct in my opinion, if i read this a month ago i would have said something else. I’m an ENTP and i’ve also noticed that they sometimes steal my ideas while telling me on face “YOU’RE WRONG, THATS SO DUMB” . I hate estjs so much.
07/12/2019 at 11:24 am
I think it’s mainly the fact that ESTJ’s, especially of the unhealthy variety, view people’s feelings as largely irrelevant to any decisions or actions they may take. They have more of a “grow up and deal with it” approach to things. Some try to understand that others may be more sensitive than they are, but some don’t.
10/08/2018 at 11:10 am
My sister is one, some of my colleagues are too, and so is my boss.
In my view, ESTJs suffer from intrinsic duality.
When they try to be nice, they come across as greasy (i.e tries so hard that you can smell the pretense from miles away…not to mention the glistening eyes that are seeking for your compliance to their VERY shallow reasoning).
When they go on about directing you, they come across as hypocrites (they do things and at the same time rant and complain about doing so much, even when you didn’t ask for anything and don’t even care about whatever OCD thing they are doing…apparently for you, without your consent).
All ESTJs I know have TERRIBLE relationships (with IxFPs) that break explosively as much as they start with pathetic devotion…and the ESTJS go around wondering why people can’t just do what they say while wishing people would do things for them…Did I say they were two-faced?
As an INTJ, I find them incredible SIMPLE MINDED (i.e the Rainman character, borderline inept with anything other than numbers and memorising number-based facts about people). I often try my best to work WITH them, but they inevitably get on my Fi and get me to just bar them for life. This happened twice before I decided I just don’t want to be anywhere near these people for more than 10mins. Meanwhile, My Ni and their Si will always be at odd, so all is well. 🙂
07/12/2019 at 11:28 am
Wow, this post spoke to me on a personal level. I always wondered why my mom came across as pretentious when trying to be nice to people. And that’s very true about IxFP relationships-my sis is an INFP and their relationship is rocky to say the least. Through studying Myers-Briggs and a lot of prayer, I’ve come to understand my mom a little better and it’s made things somewhat better for me. I just wish my mom would watch her tongue a little more; she’ll do or give anything in the world for you, but at the same time she’ll shred you to pieces with her words.
12/18/2020 at 6:32 am
The world would be better without ESTJs. They are a threat to society and the future of humanity. You all know deep down that this is true. Don’t ever take shit from any ESTJ you meet. They are mindless, soulless insects and it’s fine to give them a taste of their own medicine.