MBTI: The Brutally Honest Profiles
One of the major criticisms of MBTI is that it only focuses on the positive. Maybe some do this, but if you’re approaching it the right way, you’re well aware of your weaknesses and are embarrassed by them; not turning them into fun, quirky side points of your personality.
Remember that you’re not going to like your actual problems. It’s what makes them problems.
Here’s a quick list of the types and some issues, whether we know it or not. Don’t get your feelings hurt and don’t even argue; just try to see how someone could view you this way.
You’ve got to stop. Seriously. Your whole “I’ve got to do everything for everybody all the time” lifestyle not only makes you stressed out, but it’s often more about you controlling everything. Take some time for yourself occasionally and do some “soul searching.”
And no, I don’t mean “Watch more reality TV.” Understand that there’s more to life than pleasing other people so you can feel good about yourself. Read a book, watch an in-depth movie, stretch your mental capacity.
Though that last one shouldn’t be too hard for you, so you should try it sometime and better yourself in ways you’ve previously only thought nerds did.
Quiet, proper and annoying, I really don’t even need to say anything to make you feel like crap about yourself since you subject yourself to it every day anyway. Aw, does this hurt your feelings?
Oh, not now that it’s being said. Now you’re probably defending yourself on how this isn’t like you at all. But you know it is.
Try this for a change- try doing something for somebody because you like to do it; not because of what that person will do to you if you don’t. It’s really obvious to other people you hate being of service to them but when you’re always doing it for them, why would they stop? Sure, you’re good looking, but that’s not even for you, is it? You do that so you don’t have anyone stare at you for standing out.
Think for yourself, quit being so mopey and quit getting mad because things don’t go your way. You’ve haven’t done a single thing to control the outcome in the first place.
The good little automaton droids of MBTI, These rigid little dictators are like fire ants. Sure, a bite hurts but it takes a hundred of them to amount to anything. Stop trying to tell everyone everything like it’s your job, or like you were asked. Don’t be surprised to one day find out that all your rants on the most technical aspects of whatever subject you thought was interesting at the time was also your discussion partner’s nap time.
Having an original thought every once and a while and knowing why you think what you think might make it a little easier to not get so mad at everyone that questions you. And to elaborate, quit getting so mad that people don’t agree with you in the first place. Other people have rights too and even if they believed the same things as you, you’d still find something stupid to get mad at them for.
We all know that no matter what others do, you’re gonna whine.
Everything said about ISTJ goes double for ESTJ. Always cranky and always annoyed at every one else for thinking differently, they’ll get mad at people for being as firm in their beliefs as the ESTJ is in their own. In other words, a hypocrite. And what really sets them apart in the hypocrisy department is that they’re so loud about it.
Nevermind their own problems, they’re here to fix you…through harassment and bullying. Did the ESTJ you know recently find out about a new team, politician, or religion they’re into? Alright, well then get ready to be beaten into submission until you love it too. As an ESTJ, you might want to slow down, stop concerning yourself with what everybody else needs to think and work on your temper.
Wow, aren’t ISFP just precious peacekeepers of the arts and humanity? They’ve just got so much going on in their heads and hearts but who cares, they’ll just keep their mouth shut instead of warning you about oncoming traffic. All their feelings and thoughts must be contained for when their friend can’t take it anymore. THEN, they might talk about it but only when people are at their most fed up.
But keep in mind that the more you say, the further back this timid creature will go. Not because you’re saying anything intimidating but because ISFPs don’t understand anything that isn’t what they think. No really- show an ISFP another point of view and watch their eyes cross before they just go back to what they originally said, repeating it word for word. It’s like their functions are lined up to create a natural stoner that feels deeply but has nothing going on in their head.
Where do you start? Or rather, if I start, where do I end? ESFPs are the type to want to do something stupid and get mad at you for trying to stop them. You might get a speech about it being “THEIR life” and all that other crap that makes you feel like you’re in an ABC Family drama.
Then, once the act of idiocy is complete and the ESFP is suffering the consequences, they’ll scream about how difficult their life is and how unfair the universe treats them. Oh, also it’s your fault for not stopping them. The way they remember it (ESFPs create their own truths) is that when they needed help from you, you turned your back on them.
Oh, but don’t actually turn your back on them, because they’ll probably steal from you. Being the “hottest” person you know only gets you so far.
The “coolest” type there is, ISTPs are a lot like ISFPs in that they’ll hate everything about you but never actually say anything. Their love of remaining the level-headed one is so important to them that doing anything like breathing too fast is equated with making threats of suicide.
The strangest thing about the ISTP is their sporadic tendency of ignoring common sense and acting on whatever impulse they just received, from their genitals to their brain. There’s no good reason, they’ll just act like an idiot and claim ignorance later. In the name of making things interesting, they might start an argument over something they don’t even care about and then keep it going with points that don’t make any sense in an attempt make you feel wrong.
Lastly, be prepared to hear about their “taste for the finer things.” I.E., constant whining about how whatever you’re doing isn’t cool enough.
Possibly the loudest of all types, the ESTP is intent on convincing you of something that doesn’t matter and then talking about how stupid you are once you bought into it. That thing they said they help you out with yesterday? That thing they said ‘yes’ to? Well, you’re asking too much of them by wanting them to make good on it.
ESTPs only care about people depending on what that person can do for them. Reading that alone doesn’t sound horrible to the ESTP because they think it makes them sound cool and cold.
Well, it doesn’t, it just makes you a douche. A douche that nobody wants to be around because when you don’t get your way, you act like a giant baby. Lay off the steroids, it’ll do wonders for your brain and your testicles.
What’s often considered the most likable type, if you’re around an ENFJ for a bit, they’ll whip out their inner ESFJ and tell you what you need to do to better yourself. And by “for a bit” I mean “upon meeting you.” ENFJs are notorious for sticking their noses where they don’t belong in some strange attempt to fix you. You didn’t ask for it, but they “know” what you need.
Ultimately, the problem isn’t that they actually want you to do better, but that they don’t understand their persistence comes across as them just telling you what to do, which makes their helpful attempts pointless. The warm, fuzzy feeling the ENFJ gets from convincing you of your problem they need to correct is enough to justify their manipulation, white lies, and condescending remarks they make in the pursuit of making you better. Yeah, it’s not like they need any work, right?
Good Lord, we don’t have enough room for this one. Lets get to the point: When all you do is think about your own thoughts, you’re leaving very little to the rest of us. Don’t complain about people being so demanding when you’ve been standing in the same spot, saying nothing for as long as you’ve been around.
The magical INFJ can normally only be found online because A. They’re afraid of people, who sometimes make big, scary noises, And B. Most of those who claim INFJ aren’t actually INFJ but something else. This points to the bigger problem of so many people think INFJ is their type. Why? Because they’re supposedly so rare that it must mean you’re one, because of how special you are. Yeah, nobody else. Just you, right?
Lastly, to all INFJs- other people think deeply as well. Because this is ALL you EVER do, don’t make the mistake of thinking no one else thinks about the state of humanity or cares about the deeper side of life.
The world is a stage and ENFPs are the featured clown. The clown’s stage name will be “Intrudy” because it sounds stupid and nobody is more intrusive into others lives than the ENFP. ENFPs are so unaware of other people’s personal space, the first things you’ll notice about them is what they had for lunch because they’re so close you can smell their breath. Secondly you’ll notice that they don’t mind discussing how much you get paid or what your deepest, darkest secrets and desires are.
Hey ENFP! Not everybody likes talking about those things or even in those terms! Talk about something other than people’s most personal problems and then getting offended when they don’t want to tell you their life story…which you’ll ignore as soon as they start talking because it’s not really about bettering them but about you having bettered them.
Actually focus on the person you’re talking to, not just understanding why they love you so much.
The dreamy cry babies of MBTI, disagree with an INFP and watch their mouths and eyes open in shock that their wonderfully whimsical and spectacular idea on what to do about war in the middle east hasn’t been met with cheer and awe. Disagreeing with them will be easy because their ideas about how to get along usually won’t work to begin with.
“I’ll make everybody veggie sandwiches! I can make an average of 267 vegan sammies a week!”
Please, just come down to the real world where the rest of us live and put the castle in the sky up for sale. Not because you shouldn’t have high-minded ideals about the world, but because nothing you’re saying makes any sense. Try spending time on how you’re actually going to make your dream a reality and watch more people take you seriously. Until then, you’re just a kid in your treehouse, getting mad at the weather because it’s raining.
This is almost too easy a target. They’re so absent minded, it hurts. The Rational cousin of the INFP, the INTP doesn’t want to solve world hunger, they would prefer to come up with ideas to feed everybody at the same time just because it’s interesting to them at the moment. They’ll forget about it the next day and voila! Nothing has been accomplished and years have been wasted.
“Why are you doing things that way? Clearly, if you add X to Y, your obvious answer is **&#(. You don’t get this? How could you not get this? You don’t agree? You must have not been listening. I’ll go over it again.”
Also, stop trying to come up with plans on how to make things better for anybody when your only way of explaining the problem to people is by running over them with logic and explaining something that doesn’t cross most people’s minds to begin with. Then you’ll whine about the people that don’t listen. Among other things, what you’re talking about is BOOOOOORING.
Don’t spend so much time railing against the system and criticizing others for just living the way they do.
Another easy target, the ENTP is like the ESTP in that they can’t get enough of their own voice. Listen to a recording of it and hear how annoying and full of yourself you sound. No, really- try it. You’ll swear to never talk again which will last for about forty-five seconds.
Your “playful” way of arguing every little point somebody throws out isn’t always so clever as much as it is petty and wasteful. That’s great that you’ve been able to put a finger on why this movie’s plot from 1965 that no one’s ever heard of makes no sense but the real issue is that NOBODY CARES.
Oh, but you just keep on talking. When the people you’re talking to snap out of the daze you’ve put them in, you can end it with a “funny” joke about the way they stare off into nothing and how it looks like this one thing from that one time that blah blah blahSHUT UP.
Wow, ENTJs are so cool, aren’t they? They’re like human tanks; powerful, destructive, and useful in a limited number of situations. Any ENTJ you’ve ever known probably doesn’t know you unless you’re currently working for them.
The only time they do pay attention to others is when something goes wrong. Nevermind the people around you work tirelessly to make you happy with no credit, just call them out on their faults as if you did anything to make the situation better. All those times you were talking about how incompetent every around you was? Maybe if you hadn’t made acted like you were going to do everything, the responsibilities would have been more clear. But, no just keep blaming everyone else, that works.
Try and being friends as opposed to just trying to use and bully people, you’ll get better results. If “using and bullying” people sounds like a good, dominating thing, you should also know that people avoid you because they can only take so much of your crap.
Saving the worst for last, INTJ probably have the worst people skills of all types yet they’ll pretend they have this whole humanity thing figured out.
Oh you’re an INTJ with people skills? Oh, you’ve just got it all, don’t you! Such a Mastermind! Way to catch up with the communicating techniques and expressions the rest of us learned in fifth grade. Pinnacle of intellect, you are.
If you are an INTJ with friends, make sure you actually take the time to focus on others. And no, it’s not a good thing that you don’t, it makes you sincerely unlikable. No, really- I know you think this is a good thing but it’s not. Think about things other people do/say that get on your nerves and that’s how you’re seen by others. Not intimidatingly brilliant, just aggravating.
You may have a difficult time with people in part due to the fact that you’re ready to tell them their problem before they actually get anything out. Let’s just clear this up- You don’t know anything about people so stop giving advice on them. You’re not arguing with this are you? No, certainly not. You’re up to date on all of your flaws, aren’t you? Nothing we can’t tell you that you don’t already know.
1. “That doesn’t sound anything like me.”
2. “No, seriously, I don’t do that.”
3. “My type’s was longer than theirs!”
Why is this being addressed at all? The point of Type Theory, aside from a slightly deeper-than-normal conversation, is to know yourself objectively. Regardless of your beliefs, we can use the different type models to observe our own behavior; the strengths and weaknesses, and move forward with said knowledge, constantly bettering ourselves.
So I do get a bit discouraged when I come across people who will fight and fight and fight to keep certain qualities to their name when in all actuality, none of us are only things we like and beyond reproach.
The problem with it? Not only does it show a major misunderstanding of MBTI, but this teaches newcomers to not know what the heck is going on. Everybody is fighting to be the “perfect” type because we’re all naturally biased to our type in the first place.
That’s normal but it’s not right. Then we’re missing the point in the first place: to know what we are and what we aren’t.
And here’s me talking about this post two years later [Updated, 9/16/16].