Zombies Ruin Everything

I’m not alone in saying that I love all of the Step Up movies. I’m also lying when I say that I love the Step Up movies. That being the case, and since the the fifth film in the franchise just opened up (Or is it the ninth?), I would like to pitch an outline for the next Step Up movie that’s bound to be made.

No really- these movies combined have made nearly 600 million, on combined budgets that have cost less than 100 million. Keep in mind that the most recent release only opened this weekend so it’s still got tread on its tires so to speak. My guess? These movies are the perfect ticket to buy when all the teens that go into it are actually trying to watch whatever R-rated movie is right across the hall.

Working Title: STEP UP: GOING OVABOARD (Kids like misspelled words- remember this)
Tagline: “Trusting your partner is sink or swim.”
What’s it like?: It’s basically STEP UP 2: THE STREETS meets STEP UP REVOLUTION meets TITANIC
Proposed Budget: 28 million (Dancers will work for scraps if you make them, spend more money on marketing)
Cast: All the HAWTTEST dancers you can find, lead male must have mixed ethnicity so all female audience members will be attracted, good acting skills not required.

FIND THE FACES THAT BELONG TO THESE ABS AND HIRE THEM.

Plot: Jake Tyler (or JD to his friends) has to find a way to keep dance alive and pay for his amazing dance warehouse that gives his friends a place to stay and changes hearts and lives for all the kids living in the crazy culture of the urban community! His last chance is to book him and his friends as the hottest dance crew on board the SS Whatevs, run by record producer, Julie B.! She’s one hot mess and only accepts the most SLAMMIN’ crews for her dance-offs. When Jake and Valaria (A love interest) get their team together, they’re confronted by Valaria’s ex, Mulisha: a bad B-boy with some moves of his own! Mulisha and his crew are also joining the dance-off on this sea-bound voyager and it’s going to take all Jake’s got to prove he has what it takes!

Put these three in there again. If they say no, or are dead, use stock footage of them.

Production notes: Needs ethnicities of ALL variety though ONLY supporting characters will actually be minorities. Studies show this works, or something. Probably.

Actors need to make the most intense crapping face they can during dance routines, audiences seem to like this.

Phrases like “Aw YEE!” must be used frequently as well as other “urban” slang regardless of whether or not anyone is using the same terminology in reality. Have one character at some point scream during an improvised street dance “THIS IS LOCOOOO!” Producer’s son really wants this to happen so make it work.

Characters must constantly remind the audience that the upcoming dance-off will destroy their lives if they do not win but set them up for life if they do.

Tight-knit family-like group of friends must disband as soon as one of them does something reasonably dishonest until they come together for the final dance.

Opposing dance group should be vaguely evil.

Dance rehearsal should consist of moves not seen in the final routine.

I don’t know what is happening here, but make it happen in the movie.

FOLLOWING SCENE IS EXCERPTED FROM SCRIPT (FINAL DRAFT)

EXT. JULIE’S DANCE PALACE. DUSK.

JAKE and VALARIA’S crew all disperse into the neon world of fun and excitement found on the ship. They whoop and holler; noise and cheering from them should never stop. A few compliment JAKE on their most recent dance recital as if he did anymore work than anyone else.

JAKE (YELLING BACK)
Alright man, cool! Yeah, you were tight too! Catch you later.

JAKE and VALARIA finally get a moment to themselves.

JAKE
So, what do you think about the upcoming dance? Think our crew is ready?

VALARIA
Yeah, totally. We’ve got some work to do but we should be…

VALARIA notices Jake’s emotional distance through JAKE’S distant stare into nothing.

VALARIA (CONT’D)
Jake, what’s wrong?

JAKE
Nothing, I just…(SIGH)I just don’t know if we’re ready for this y’know? Like…we’ve got a great crew and you’re the best I’ve ever seen in my life but like…I just don’t think we’ve got what it takes.

VALARIA
When were you planning to tell us this? Before or after the biggest dance of our LIVES?

JAKE
Look, I’m just working on some stuff, okay? I can’t deal with this right now.

VALARIA
No, Jake, talk to me! We can’t do this without you! It’s all or nothing!

JAKE
Oh, you wanna talk? Okay, let’s talk about you and MULISHA! How come you never told me about you and him?

VALARIA (SHOCKED)
What…? That’s from my past and I-

JAKE (CONT’D)
What, were you going to sabotage the dance?? Was this all to set me up and make me look like a idiot?!

VALARIA
JAKE, please listen to me, I-

JAKE
No, you know what? (BEAT) I’m outta here. I don’t need this.

JAKE walks away as VALARIA stands in the same spot. Following and actually discussing problems like actual humans should NEVER take place. Next scene should have CRAZY evil dance-off by MULISHA’S crew, kicking JAKE while he’s down. Improvise dialogue for these scenes.

Recreate this but with row boats instead of cars. Or row boats instead of people, I don’t care, just make it work.

This entry was posted on 08/11/2014 at 4:08 pm and is filed under Whatever with tags all the same, dancing, script, sequels, Step Up movies, whatever. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.