This Just In!: Annabelle Sucks


Yes, I watched it. But I don’t want to write a review for diluted PG-13 Horror garbage. I don’t mind the rating(Edit: Turns out, it’s rated R. I really don’t know why though. I actually lost a bet to a friend that it was PG-13). I don’t mind Horror. I love Horror! In film of, course.

But when it’s diluted, well then that says it all doesn’t it?

It gets boring coming up with different ways to indirectly insult the movie a lot of people put time and effort into and it’s too easy. I’m faceless and behind a computer, pointing a digital finger at a bunch of people who may have just had this thing tossed in their lap.

I’ve read too many “WTF IS THISS? KILL URSELF FAG THIS WRIDING SUX” to not understand that other people just mercilessly picking at your work is not only insulting, it’s out-of-the way nonconstructive and doesn’t serve a purpose.

But I did feel like this throughout the movie.

But I did feel like this throughout the movie.

With that in mind, I don’t think anybody should see a movie that seems to take from a bunch of other films, add nothing new, and shoo you out after a forced ending that couldn’t have even been entertaining to write. I don’t want you to spend money on this, is what I’m saying. But that doesn’t mean this movie is offensively bad, it just doesn’t deserve your time or money.

Last year’s The Conjuring was done on a 20 million dollar budget to an over 300 million dollar gross. It was PG-13 yet pretty darn good if I do say so. So it’s only natural a sequel would be in order. So while a sequel has been “ordered,” don’t be fooled- this is the spinoff to The Conjuring. So don’t get too disappointed that the “Sequel sucked” cuz this ain’t it.

Just like this ain’t a review, It’s a warning. Don’t support crappy Horror just because you want a good one so bad.

Fun fact, lead actress name of the film is actually Annabelle herself. Just sayin’.

Annabelle Wallis. The End.

Annabelle Wallis. The End.


5 Responses to “This Just In!: Annabelle Sucks”

  1. This review made me laugh, I feel exactly the same way.

  2. Joseph Ahern Says:

    I gave it a chance because in “The Conjuring”, Annabelle was an interesting side story that left you wanting to know more….
    Instead, this movie did nothing but slap the title “Annabelle” on it, and write a script about a gargoyle looking demon that wants to possess a toddler.

    It could have been called ANYTHING besides Annabelle and it would have still been the same predictable excuse for a horror movie.

    My girlfriend (whom I love and adore) has trouble keeping up with movies, and I often criticize her for it. She flat out predicted and nailed every scene seconds before it played out…All I can do was laugh.

    I agree with you 100%. Not worth a theater ticket or a Redbox rent.

    Very Happy I Paid Nothing To See And Delete This.

  3. that movie was a steaming pile of shit! they didn’t even base it on the REAL story. instead they just made it some shitty ass prequel 2 the conjuring just because of a 2 second reference.


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