MBTI: I don’t dislike INTJs. Or INFJs, or INFPs…
I don’t get much mail compared to say, however much mail a more popular internet personality probably gets (Let’s say a million letters a day) but I get enough to start forming an opinion about who’s reading my stuff. A few months ago, somebody more popular than me posted the Brutally Honest Profiles post and the view counter has shot up and stayed higher ever since, which is cool.
And it’s also expected that with more people reading, you’re just going to have more people who don’t like what you’re saying or how you’re saying it, which is fine. But let’s clear some stuff up.
I get accused a pretty good bit of having a bias against certain types. The Brutally Honest post aside, it wasn’t uncommon to read someone telling me that I “obviously” have something against their type even before that. Now I’ve gotten this from several types, but the three in the top running, in this order, are INTJ, INFJ, and INFP.
Now let’s get the past the part where I say “If you don’t like it, YOU don’t have to be here!” Let’s get over that and assume you just want to see what I write here. After all, you’ve got to read it to know whether or not you like it and the “read it or don’t” sales pitch is kind of obvious. Of course you don’t have to keep reading it. This is for the people that have read something I’ve written and thought that I was being unfair in my assessment of their type.
The first time I got an email stating that I’d offended someone due to my description of their type, I was more than happy to just get some mail from a reader. So I took their complaints under heavy consideration. Is my humor not coming across as playful? Do I need to leave out these pictures that could be sending the wrong message? These things went through my mind.
“I can’t play this for another five hours tomorrow” also goes through my mind.
The second time I got mail from a reader with complaints about my descriptions, again, I took it into consideration. Hey, I’m not their type, I don’t think like them. I’ve got a site talking about them, I need to be accurate right? And you can’t just ignore complaints/criticisms and expect to improve.
But after a while I noticed a certain pattern. And even when I would post something where the mentioning of flaws was brief and light, I would still get the mail saying that I was unfairly judging their type. And what was the pattern? Well, that INTJ, INFJ, and INFP were the ones with this complaint more so than any other type.
And why these types more than any others? I’ve got a couple reasons I think could be the case.
For one, they’re all online a lot. Duh, right. That’s where I’m receiving the complaints. But introverts have made the internet they’re home like extroverts couldn’t, no matter how much they’re online.
Why? Because extroverts will always feel the need to get out and do something or be around others. Sure, extroverts can spend hours online too. God knows I do. But introverts would just as soon replace the people they know in real life with the people they talk to online. It’s just easier. You don’t have to go out, something’s always happening, blah blah blah. Ask me how many people out of six in this common group chat that I’m apart of are introverts. I’ll give you a hint- there were seven people taking part in this but he was an extrovert and was sick of getting them throughout the day.
In other words, with introverts being more to themselves, online or otherwise, the voice in their head is louder which makes them more willing to speak up online, especially since there’s no real risk when it comes to voicing their opinion. Sure, why not go for it?
“I am NOT! SENSITIVE!”
Secondly, intuitive types are more likely to read into things. Again, duh. That’s what makes them intuitive in the first place. They choose intuition over sensing. I say this because the three types I’ve mentioned that feel some sort of disdain from me are all introverted and intuiting types so that’s what I have to go on. For INTJ and INFJ I could say “Hmm…maybe dominant Ni is looking into something that I’m not when I write this?” But that would leave out INFP. Or I could say that “INTJ and INFP are feeling as though I’m violating their principles or interpreting their person wrongfully due to their Fi?” But that doesn’t cover INFJ.
And really, I just don’t want to seem like I’m dismissing these three types or putting them in a corner to say “You have a problem with something I said? Screw you!” That would probably lose me some readers. I think a lot of people will read this article and not have any idea what I’m even talking about. I guess I just noticed a trend and I’m just a’writin’ why I thought certain types were more likely to be offended by what’s said here.
But I don’t think it has much to do with type to be honest. I think it has more to do with certain people, in the Type community or not, that don’t like the idea that they’re not perceived by others the way they see themselves. You’ll notice that many people will take their flaws and state them in a way that either A. Aren’t flaws anymore. Or B. Explain them in a way that make it everyone else’s fault they do those annoying things.
“I am not arrogant! I just have a hard time dealing with idiots!”
“Idjits always poppin’ up behind me!”
Y’know, bumper sticker material and all that. I’m not going to copy/paste actual stuff because I’m not trying to harp on specific people. But at this point, I can’t help but just think that it’s really not me, it’s them. I wrote this with those people, whoever they are, in mind. I take it upon myself to word some of the flaws described in MBTI descriptions bluntly and really bring them home. So if an INFJ description says that INFJs “May quickly dismiss input from others without really considering it“ I may state something similar.
Or perhaps, for the 80th article describing INFJ, where I’ve talked about a common trait practically all INFJs share, I’ll really dig in and word it starkly because wording things delicately often doesn’t work and may even end up doing more damage than good. Maybe a type that can be dismissive of others’ input doesn’t need to hear their flaws worded in a way that allows them to remain feeling as though they have no real flaws, only “quirks” others haven’t learned to deal with.
I don’t get it. How do you read an article relating yourself to The Avenger’s Vision (INFJ) and then pick out the one paragraph out of fifteen where I say “INFJs can be a little too sensitive!” and think that this makes it obvious that I can’t stand INFJs? We’re going over everything people, not just what you like about yourself. I think it has to do with people finding out about MBTI and looking to it as the Ark of the Covenant or something, their prized possession that makes them feel good about themselves. Don’t you dare bring that evil up to me, boy! I am SPECIAL! My descriptions ALL say to use my special gifts! MUH POWERS!
I’m not going to tell them to be less sensitive because sensitivity has only a little bit to do with it and it’s mostly ego. Again, if your personality is being compared to Heisenberg (INTJ) yet you can’t believe I would mention the arrogance of an INTJ, how have you made it this far? Go pay for a prostitute and have her tell you how great you are. But nah, the people who I’m really talking to won’t think this applies to them. They’ll be offended by this but at the same time, it doesn’t match them somehow. I don’t have time for people who are looking to be offended.
“Why does this always happen to…ME??”
Unfortunately I have no “advice” section to this post because this article isn’t meant to change minds and I’m not sure it would work anyway. It’s really more about bringing to light the same things that keep getting emailed to me and I’m starting to think there’s a conspiracy.
Disclaimer! No, I’m not talking to all people of these three types. Aside from friends in real life who fit these types, plenty of readers have shown me support as well, even when they disagree, and know how to take a joke.
Zombies Ruin Everything 
07/28/2015 at 3:20 am
Being amongst one of those three types you have described as taking easy offense to your articles, I am extremely offended by your chauvinistic and transparent hatred of my type and am disturbed by your compulsive urge to acknowledge our existing weaknesses.
/sarcasm
All said and done, I’m with you on this phenomenon being less about type and more about the narrative the (online) Type Community feeds those that partake in it. It harkens to the victim mentality that seems to be increasingly prevalent in this day and age, and frankly, it disturbs me that so many are placing so my stock in a description that while an excellent starting point, cannot capture the complexity of human behavior.
07/29/2015 at 1:14 am
Exactly. I think we’re so used to everything being spoon fed to us, we even bend personality indicators to what we want rather than change our own perspective.
07/28/2015 at 4:21 am
INFP here. Been reading your site for a long time and I’ve always enjoyed it. I don’t think you single out my type unfairly; in fact, I always enjoy the chance to laugh at myself, especially in the brutally honest profiles. My advice? Don’t change a thing. And don’t ever listen to INFPs. Listening to INFPs was the reason I fought against being typed as such for a long time. (Joking aside, I’m actually serious about that last point).
07/29/2015 at 1:17 am
Thanks, it’s good to hear. Side note, I’ve actually recommended your site to a couple INFPs I know to give them an idea of an INFP male’s writing style. One of them liked it a lot, the other will probably never actually look it up. I tried!
07/28/2015 at 1:57 pm
INFJ here.
In my own experience, I’ve found that the MBTI community is filled with misguided people. Some of them can be tenaciously hyper-sensitive, mostly because they are mistaken about themselves (and others) and don’t like to be proven so.
As for myself, I think you are one of the most intelligent writers on the internet, and a critical voice of reason in the MBTI world. I get your posts via e-mail and thoroughly enjoy every one of them. There is no bias in this blog at all.
07/29/2015 at 12:46 am
Thanks, it’s appreciated.
07/29/2015 at 1:13 am
One of the most intelligent writers on the internet? You’re gonna make my head explode. Death by compliment is a good way to go though, if I’ve got the choice. Thanks, Gannon.
07/29/2015 at 11:45 pm
Faggot
09/05/2015 at 3:46 pm
Wow is fatalfuryguy repressing his homosexuality. Just come out, guy. Seriously. You’ll be way happier and your IQ may just raise enough points to use vocabulary that isn’t derogatory. Or will you retort with more profanity? Let’s see.
07/28/2015 at 2:40 pm
INTJ here. Spot on to start off your analysis by pointing out the issue of selection bias. You might consider ending your analysis there too. (No snark there, honest suggestion.) The people most likely to be online? I can buy it’s some combination of INxx. Most likely to be interested in typology? INxx. Most likely to have read and thought enough about the topic to have an opinion? INxx. Most likely to be opinionated enough about it to complain about something they didn’t like? INxx.
This forum is sort of a perfect storm for attracting INxx types – both for good and bad. We sit around by ourselves and think about things, that’s what we DO. Don’t take it personally when we show up en masse and engage your seeming willingness to engage in that conversation with us.
Also, your spelling and grammar are atrocious in this post. Have a little personal pride and clean that shit up.
But ending on a positive note, I thought your Brutally Honest Profiles was great, and generally I really enjoy your blog. Thanks for sharing!
07/29/2015 at 12:45 am
“Also, your spelling and grammar are atrocious in this post”
And here I was thinking I’d don alright.
07/29/2015 at 3:39 am
HAHAHA
“I’d don alright.”
Sorry, I hope this was intentional in your part.
07/29/2015 at 12:31 pm
Yo I aint tryna say you cant do grammar but wtf LOL. you need to learn you some b4 ya start runnin ya mouf
07/28/2015 at 4:17 pm
I’m part of the silent people who always read you without being noticed, as this is the first comment I write in this page, but this time I feel like doing it. I discovered this site thanks to a post about Cowboy Bebop (specifically, about Spike), and since then I have been reading a lot of your posts for hours.
I think that people who get hurt are more likely to send you an e-mail telling you why they feel that way and why you were “just wrong!” than those who read you and just end up with a smile in the face, because they don’t have the need to tell you, or at least, that’s my case. A terrible downside of the internet is that you can’t see people smiling in the other side of the screen, but you definitely read the complains full of fire and storms, complains which can be good and bad at the same time.
I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you something like ‘Don’t stop writing honest posts nor flaws when it’s important! We, the silent people, absolutely love that!’ because you already know. You seem to be a smart and witty person. Even so, I thought it would be nice to tell you, as an INFP myself, that criticism is completely OK as long as we can learn from that, whether we’re assertive and calm, or turbulent and too sensitive. Your sarcasm is brilliant, so please, use it! Hit us with your words! Hahaha, ok, just kidding. But just remember that there are plenty of silent people here and we really like reading you. Writing all these posts takes patience and time, and we understand, even if it’s a little bit, your effort.
P.S. If there are mistakes, I’m sorry. English is not my native language and I’m currently studying it.
07/29/2015 at 12:48 am
Thanks for the thoughts, always good to know what the “lurkers” are thinking. Plenty of sites I visit and don’t comment on, so you’ve got a point there.
07/29/2015 at 3:43 am
I don’t even get how some people have the energy to put an effort for (or to?) writing insulting letters. What’s the point?
01/01/2016 at 1:25 am
Here’s another of the silent people who also agrees with Silent Reader’s other mentioned sentiments!
05/02/2017 at 8:16 am
I second that as “mostly silent reader (cause for example today I review more than often)”.
07/28/2015 at 7:20 pm
“n. For INTJ and INFJ I could say “Hmm…maybe dominant Ni is looking into something that I’m not when I write this?” But that would leave out INFP. Or I could say that “INTJ and INFP are feeling as though I’m violating their principles or interpreting their person wrongfully due to their Fi?” But that doesn’t cover INFJ.”
Then again, besides introverts, internet also attracts unhealthy people.
So perhaps its not that they’re naturally oversensitive -because of their type- but that they have very low selfsteem or can’t comprehend humor.
07/29/2015 at 1:18 am
Yeah the low self-esteem thing rings true I think.
07/29/2015 at 12:30 pm
What’s this chicken scratch?
07/30/2015 at 12:31 am
Don’t change a thing! I love you and your content, Zombies! – ENFJ
07/30/2015 at 1:17 am
Was that a parody of ENFJ behavior?
08/01/2015 at 2:55 pm
Heh. No, I really am ENFJ. But I am pretty playful about things.
07/31/2015 at 1:06 pm
It’s weird that some people feel so strongly about their types and take the descriptions so personally. The type is just something that describes your personality more or less accurately – it’s not YOU. I think these people need some mindfulness meditation. 😉
12/11/2015 at 7:33 am
it’s INxx’s way of identification.
12/14/2015 at 3:02 pm
INFJ here and I’ve never taken offense to your writings. I might not always agree with your typings but I read every single one because I’m interested in your thoughts and feelings on it. You have a knack for this and I encourage you to continue because I will certainly be reading.
It’s true we can be sensitive, just some INFJs are sensitive about being called that since many write it off as a terrible thing. The way other types act toward INFJs in the MBTI Community at times does not help with that.
Keep doing what you’re doing though, I think you’re doing an excellent job.
06/15/2016 at 5:40 pm
Yup. In the meanwhile the INTPs keep being the most easy-going IN-type 😉