MBTI: I don’t dislike INTJs. Or INFJs, or INFPs…
I don’t get much mail compared to say, however much mail a more popular internet personality probably gets (Let’s say a million letters a day) but I get enough to start forming an opinion about who’s reading my stuff. A few months ago, somebody more popular than me posted the Brutally Honest Profiles post and the view counter has shot up and stayed higher ever since, which is cool.
And it’s also expected that with more people reading, you’re just going to have more people who don’t like what you’re saying or how you’re saying it, which is fine. But let’s clear some stuff up.
I get accused a pretty good bit of having a bias against certain types. The Brutally Honest post aside, it wasn’t uncommon to read someone telling me that I “obviously” have something against their type even before that. Now I’ve gotten this from several types, but the three in the top running, in this order, are INTJ, INFJ, and INFP.
Now let’s get the past the part where I say “If you don’t like it, YOU don’t have to be here!” Let’s get over that and assume you just want to see what I write here. After all, you’ve got to read it to know whether or not you like it and the “read it or don’t” sales pitch is kind of obvious. Of course you don’t have to keep reading it. This is for the people that have read something I’ve written and thought that I was being unfair in my assessment of their type.
The first time I got an email stating that I’d offended someone due to my description of their type, I was more than happy to just get some mail from a reader. So I took their complaints under heavy consideration. Is my humor not coming across as playful? Do I need to leave out these pictures that could be sending the wrong message? These things went through my mind.
The second time I got mail from a reader with complaints about my descriptions, again, I took it into consideration. Hey, I’m not their type, I don’t think like them. I’ve got a site talking about them, I need to be accurate right? And you can’t just ignore complaints/criticisms and expect to improve.
But after a while I noticed a certain pattern. And even when I would post something where the mentioning of flaws was brief and light, I would still get the mail saying that I was unfairly judging their type. And what was the pattern? Well, that INTJ, INFJ, and INFP were the ones with this complaint more so than any other type.
And why these types more than any others? I’ve got a couple reasons I think could be the case.
For one, they’re all online a lot. Duh, right. That’s where I’m receiving the complaints. But introverts have made the internet they’re home like extroverts couldn’t, no matter how much they’re online.
Why? Because extroverts will always feel the need to get out and do something or be around others. Sure, extroverts can spend hours online too. God knows I do. But introverts would just as soon replace the people they know in real life with the people they talk to online. It’s just easier. You don’t have to go out, something’s always happening, blah blah blah. Ask me how many people out of six in this common group chat that I’m apart of are introverts. I’ll give you a hint- there were seven people taking part in this but he was an extrovert and was sick of getting them throughout the day.
In other words, with introverts being more to themselves, online or otherwise, the voice in their head is louder which makes them more willing to speak up online, especially since there’s no real risk when it comes to voicing their opinion. Sure, why not go for it?
Secondly, intuitive types are more likely to read into things. Again, duh. That’s what makes them intuitive in the first place. They choose intuition over sensing. I say this because the three types I’ve mentioned that feel some sort of disdain from me are all introverted and intuiting types so that’s what I have to go on. For INTJ and INFJ I could say “Hmm…maybe dominant Ni is looking into something that I’m not when I write this?” But that would leave out INFP. Or I could say that “INTJ and INFP are feeling as though I’m violating their principles or interpreting their person wrongfully due to their Fi?” But that doesn’t cover INFJ.
And really, I just don’t want to seem like I’m dismissing these three types or putting them in a corner to say “You have a problem with something I said? Screw you!” That would probably lose me some readers. I think a lot of people will read this article and not have any idea what I’m even talking about. I guess I just noticed a trend and I’m just a’writin’ why I thought certain types were more likely to be offended by what’s said here.
But I don’t think it has much to do with type to be honest. I think it has more to do with certain people, in the Type community or not, that don’t like the idea that they’re not perceived by others the way they see themselves. You’ll notice that many people will take their flaws and state them in a way that either A. Aren’t flaws anymore. Or B. Explain them in a way that make it everyone else’s fault they do those annoying things.
“I am not arrogant! I just have a hard time dealing with idiots!”
Y’know, bumper sticker material and all that. I’m not going to copy/paste actual stuff because I’m not trying to harp on specific people. But at this point, I can’t help but just think that it’s really not me, it’s them. I wrote this with those people, whoever they are, in mind. I take it upon myself to word some of the flaws described in MBTI descriptions bluntly and really bring them home. So if an INFJ description says that INFJs “May quickly dismiss input from others without really considering it“ I may state something similar.
Or perhaps, for the 80th article describing INFJ, where I’ve talked about a common trait practically all INFJs share, I’ll really dig in and word it starkly because wording things delicately often doesn’t work and may even end up doing more damage than good. Maybe a type that can be dismissive of others’ input doesn’t need to hear their flaws worded in a way that allows them to remain feeling as though they have no real flaws, only “quirks” others haven’t learned to deal with.
I don’t get it. How do you read an article relating yourself to The Avenger’s Vision (INFJ) and then pick out the one paragraph out of fifteen where I say “INFJs can be a little too sensitive!” and think that this makes it obvious that I can’t stand INFJs? We’re going over everything people, not just what you like about yourself. I think it has to do with people finding out about MBTI and looking to it as the Ark of the Covenant or something, their prized possession that makes them feel good about themselves. Don’t you dare bring that evil up to me, boy! I am SPECIAL! My descriptions ALL say to use my special gifts! MUH POWERS!
I’m not going to tell them to be less sensitive because sensitivity has only a little bit to do with it and it’s mostly ego. Again, if your personality is being compared to Heisenberg (INTJ) yet you can’t believe I would mention the arrogance of an INTJ, how have you made it this far? Go pay for a prostitute and have her tell you how great you are. But nah, the people who I’m really talking to won’t think this applies to them. They’ll be offended by this but at the same time, it doesn’t match them somehow. I don’t have time for people who are looking to be offended.
Unfortunately I have no “advice” section to this post because this article isn’t meant to change minds and I’m not sure it would work anyway. It’s really more about bringing to light the same things that keep getting emailed to me and I’m starting to think there’s a conspiracy.
Disclaimer! No, I’m not talking to all people of these three types. Aside from friends in real life who fit these types, plenty of readers have shown me support as well, even when they disagree, and know how to take a joke.