Zombies Ruin Everything

I’ve started writing several Type posts and though I haven’t decided to abandon them, that’s exactly what happened. What happened to the posts? Where are they? Where are the videos? Am I dead? All these questions will be answered and more on my Patreon! For 18 dollars a month (Yes, that right, only 18 dollars every week), you can have unlimited access to the diarrhea of my mind! But wait, there’s more!

And that’s not all! Wow! Yeah! Really? Yes, really! Exclamations!

As many of you know, my Youtube channel was hacked the same day I was getting married (ESFJ: The ultimate in spousal technology). So at every port on the cruise (Applebee’s on the water), I’m trying to connect to the internet to talk to Googletube customer service. And for a channel with 3k subs that isn’t at all Youtube-brand material, they were as much help as one might expect.

I had all of my money drained of my account a few years back only to wait to have a bank representative call me a week later…and for me to realize it was customer service. Nothing was going to be done. They called to act as a wall in telling me “This is completely legal, sir. It’s legal. There’s nothing I can do.”

Googletube customer service is a joke and you’re the punchline. Nice rainbow flag though guys. We love knowing where you stand on personal issues we never asked about. But for the record, I think exactly what you think. Can I get my damned channel back now? No? I guess I’ll piss off into oblivion. It all reminds me of the Chappelle bit about calling Ja Rule to find out how he feels about 9/11.

Speaking of, does anybody remember the video I made whining about how much I hate mega-corporations pretending to be your friend?

Why are you whining? It’s their company. If you take part in it, they can crush your skull. It’s in the TOS.

But while my personal banking crisis ended in a screaming match, the theft of my channel just drained me.

Instead of starting from scratch with a new channel, I realized I’d been neglecting screenwriting for too long; my entire reason for starting the site. I’m not entirely sure I ever knew what that meant. It’s still in the header even. “I started this site to blah blah blah…” What was I talking about when I wrote that?

Initially, I had my entire zombie book on here. Eventually, I took it off and only left the first five chapters up. Notice how I said I’d been neglecting screenwriting only to post a book. I wrote the screenplay, then dragged it out to around 54,000 words. I didn’t want to, but when you’re writing you’re not always entirely sure of what you need to write- you just know you need to.

My love of making Youtube videos was being dragged to hell. I changed jobs, was getting married, moving, etc. Coming up with ideas, shooting content you’re happy with and editing it takes more time than most people might realize, even with my low quality stuff. But even without those factors, I didn’t know what I was doing. I’d cornered myself topically and wasn’t enjoying any of it. I guess I’ll make MBTI stuff forever? I’d already been talking and writing about this for five years. Am I saying anything new? How long can I keep this up? Is anybody listening to me?

Also, my typing buddy was gone and half the fun was going back and forth in person about the subject.

I’m not writing all this to complain about my life, rather explain the disappearance. Basically, I’ve just been focusing on screenwriting. I’ve written ten full-fledged scripts at this point and will enter a couple contests soon with what I think will be the cheapest to make. I consider the first three scripts I ever wrote simply good practice (Including the zombie story) and I’ve got rough drafts written for three more stories. So it’s time to move forward in this arena because I guess I’ll never run out of ideas. After writing the zombies script in 2008 I was calling studios and talking to secretaries in LA thinking I was moving ahead. Not only is that stupid, my script sucked! I wasn’t ready.

So fast forward to 2016/17. I had to slow down, batten down the hatches, and learn to enjoy the process.

I would always hear about writer’s block so I wanted to strike while the creative iron was hot. Then I would make my move in “the real world.” Sounds stupid when I say it out loud or look at it typed out. I’m not especially intelligent but I am creative so I’m no longer worried about being drained in that way. If anything, I still want MORE time to write. I fill up notebooks like a crazy man and while funneling my stories into something coherent and properly formatting it takes time, I’m disciplined just enough to do it.

I would go to writer meetups and events in that vein, but most of what you come across are self-proclaimed entrepreneurial types that actually call themselves “visionaries.” And once they realize that you’re just a writer trying to navigate through the same terrain as them, they stop talking to you. When one guy realized I didn’t have connections to any higher-ups, he quickly changed gears. “Oh. [Looks around ] Imma see what they have over there at that table. They look like they got some good cucumber water I could get into.” Okay, Cucumber. Nice talking to you.

They claim to be writers, but they don’t even want to talk about story or their process or give an overview of their scripts because I don’t think they have any to begin with. I would think it should be tougher to shut them up if they had the chance to talk about it. What a shock, people trying to get into the entertainment industry as fake as hell. They’re actors who act like writers and they don’t want to act, they want fame.

Now if you’ve made it this far, let me discuss MBTI for a minute.

MBTI people are so friggin’ weird. You’ve got the normies. You’ve got the people deep into it that retain a sense of normalcy- usually women. Single guys- get into MBTI. I’m told it’s astrology for people who think they’re too good for astrology. And women love space dust and planets telling them what to do.

Then you’ve got the people who are all about changing types. You know who I mean. They’ve been made fun of before on this site. “Yeah, I like MBTI n’ stuff but I’m a totally different person before my last boyfriend. I used to be XSTJ but now Im ENFJ. I was uncaring until I met my new husband.” They’re an ambivert-starseed-Capricorn-1w9-and-click-here-for-my-Big 5-results-water-child. And like anything other area of life, these people are the loudest. MBTI attracts a segment of society that is obsessed with self. They want to conform to type descriptions and once they think you see them how they want to be seen, they claim they’re something else and they defy all categorization.

Some people email me and tell me to kill myself while others tell me they’re a real life Batman so Batman must be their type. Dude, I don’t care. People wonder why I don’t put up more of an argument in the comments but I’ve already written the article. I laid out my main case. No need to agree. But a good argument doesn’t include that your mom acts just like Harry Potter so Harry Potter much be ENTJ.

And you had to know I was losing steam with the posts when I started typing Harry Potter characters. It’s just not my thing.I wouldn’t mind going back to Universal Studios at some point though.

But I’ll always be writing. Scripts, ZRE drafts I might never post, editing mostly-finished screenplays and even scribbling in a journal to a kid I don’t have yet. I thought I came up with that idea but apparently a lot of people do it. There really is nothing new under the sun. Unless another miniature sun comes along. Think about that one but not too hard.

And I realize few people want to read LOoOng think pieces on Blade Runner and Death Stranding but I want to keep the site updated for any potential employers who check out my writing. Until screenwriting takes off (IT WILL, OKAY? I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING), I’m trying to get a remote job doing something involving, take a guess, writing. Currently my résumé skills don’t match my actual work experience and I’ve got to correct that. Experience? Forklifts and trucks. Skills? SEO familiarity, Copywriting, interpersonal skills, blah blah blah.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

Thanks for reading, I’m not sure what this post is. I’ll try to do better about responding to emails. I’ve ignored most of them because reading them would make me want to restart videos and posts when all my creative energy has been spent going into my scripts. Have I talked about my scripts enough? Maybe I haven’t made it clear.

I’ll make it clear- just join my OnlyFans for $27.68 a month and you can see pictures of my newest naked workout routine: I swing a kettlebell while my dog bites my calves and my wife attempts to pull me to the ground by my neck.

Okay, I’m done.

This entry was posted on 07/01/2021 at 6:31 pm and is filed under Whatever with tags blink-182, dammit, 👌🏿, Growing up, just found out about mark hoppus, more relevant tags, politics, updates, zombies ruin everything. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.