Archive for 2012

Top Five Worst of 2012

Posted in Top 5 Lists, Whatever with tags , , , , on 01/09/2013 by McCutcheon

worstmov5

…And here’s the Crap List. While I don’t feel nearly as positive posting this one, I’ve got to be honest in saying that this does feel therapeutic. Typing out this list of awful movies is kind like of heavily exhaling after running out of a public bathroom that somebody else destroyed.

And while there was much, much more garbage that came out this year, many (Alex Cross) I’ve never done reviews on because some movies people are just going to watch regardless of how bad you know it’s going to be. So below are the ones that, eh, could’ve been something…they just weren’t. Continue reading

Movie Review: The Collection

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 11/29/2012 by McCutcheon

Stars: Josh Stewart, Chris McDonald, Emma Fitzpatrick, Randall Archer

Rated R for strong bloody violence, grisly images, language and brief nudity, Running time 82 minutes, Horror/Thriller

Compare to: Cube (1997), Saw II (2005)

I’ve got to be honest, I’ve been waiting on this one for a while. It’s not that the predecessor to this film, The Collector (2009) is a must-see film before you die, I just liked it for what it was anyway: bloody horror, with an antagonist to the villain, something we rarely get in horror movies. Usually, the most we can hope for is a woman running away in her underwear that actually survives, but that’s about it. Her jock boyfriend isn’t as likable as he’s meant to be either. But those are other Horror films.

So an antagonist to the villain would make him a protagonist correct? Again, usually this is true but here, that basic plot lines are abandoned since this is Horror and it’s all about the villain anyway, right? Continue reading

Movie Review: Total Recall

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , , , on 08/03/2012 by McCutcheon

Stars: Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bokeem Woodbine, Bryan Cranston

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, some sexual content, brief nudity, and language , Running time 118 minutes, Sci-fi/Action

Compare to: Minority Report (2002), Repo Men (2010)

Being a fan of 1990’s Total Recall, it is admittedly, a little difficult to look at this film objectively and not compare it to the original. No matter what you do, the filmmakers risk “ripping off” the original, or trying too hard to seem new and different. Some things should be changed in a remake, while others don’t seem the same without those features. But that’s the difficulty of making a remake. Total Recall doesn’t suffer from coming off as a clone of Ahnuld’s, while it forgets to have as much fun as the original seemed to. Then again, a massive Austrian in the lead role is a unique aspect you only get with one actor.

Does this Recall stand on it’s own? Can a remake? I find it tough to say, but sure. This movie is likable. It’s fast, dynamic, and keeps your mind wondering what kind of twist they might introduce, be it completely new or a little familiar. It is amazing? Nah. Continue reading

For the Memories of a Lifetime…Total Recall’s Minor Issues

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 08/02/2012 by McCutcheon

The new Total Recall movie comes out tomorrow and it made me reinvest myself in the last one. We had the TV version taped on VHS in ’94 and I, as a kid, watched it so many times the average adult human would have gone insane had he been forced to view it as many times as I did. Yet it’s funny that as many times as I watched it, there are several things I didn’t not once even notice.

These are not things I expect to be mind blowing if you’re a huge fan of the movie, but rather more personal revelations. I was seven in ’94, after all.

So before your get your Quaid/Hauser on, suck on the following, and open your miiiiiindd….

Continue reading

Great Spiderman Villains We’ll Probably Never See in the Movies

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 06/14/2012 by McCutcheon

When I first heard who the villain was for the new Spiderman movie, I thought, “Cool. As long as it’s not Topher Grace.” When it turned out to be the Lizard, I was surprised they didn’t attempt to keep the villains completely grounded and human like they did for the original trilogy, save for the third one. It’s easy to imagine Spiderman onscreen battling any one of his biggest foes; Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Venom… because we’ve already seen it.

Even The Lizard had his place in the previous Sam Raimi trilogy due to the fact that Dylan Baker had already been portraying The Lizard’s alter-ego, Curt Connors, in the last two sequels. But what about the myriad of other Spiderman villains? For some, Spiderman is the only superhero whose villains are second only to Batman. The reason is that they’re just awesome, but what are the chances of seeing some of his more fun, less emotionally attached antagonists?

For the new film (and whatever sequels), who knows? Sam Raimi’s trilogy only seemed interested in villains Spiderman already knew. If he didn’t know them in the comic, they still changed things around to where he did in the movie.

So how about villains that just show up to rob a bank? Where are those guys? The ones who simply want money and then revenge for Spiderman having beat them to pulp? Evidently revenge isn’t a good enough motive, or at least, hasn’t been for Hollywood’s version of Spiderman. Here are a couple of favorites that don’t necessarily have a prior relationship to Spiderman, therefore don’t expect to see them in any sequels unless Hollywood decides to turn Rhino into Peter Parker’s illegitimate son or something. Continue reading

First “Skyfall” Poster

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 05/18/2012 by McCutcheon

What’s cool about this? It’s only James Bond walking toward you. But hey, Jimmy Bond is Jimmy Bond, baby, what can you say? You say you’re sorry that’s what, and then you tell him what he wants to know before he shoots you in the kneecap. This Bond will probably shoot first then ask questions after. “After” meaning “after he has sexual relations with your wife, you greedy weapons dealer. Bond did you a favor.”

Movie Review: Battleship

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , , on 05/18/2012 by McCutcheon

Stars: Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna, Tadanobu Asano, Alexander Skarsgard, Liam Neeson

Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language, Running time 131 minutes, Action/Adeventure/Sci-fi

Plays like: Transformers: Rise of the Fallen (2009), Skyline (2010)

Sometimes I give a movie a hard time from the trailer because it looks ridiculous, among other things, but then I watch it and have to take some of the negative things back. Transformers (2007) is a good example. Heck, even Avengers falls into this category; I just didn’t think I’d like it from the trailer, but what do you know? It was actually really good.

From the trailer alone, I assumed it would be full of explosions, cheesy one liners, forced melodrama, and a senseless plot and in the previously mentioned movies, I was wrong. There was more to them than that. Yet, in Battleship’s case, I hit the nail on the freaking head. This movie is loud, obnoxious and no, it is not fun unless you plan on making fun of it with your friends. No, I do not condone that in a movie unless it is only you and your friends.

But jeez, would it be tempting anyway. Continue reading