Archive for arnold schwarzenegger

Jason Statham is Man’s Last Hope

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 08/05/2012 by Taylor Holt

“When I’m not punching people, I’m thinking of people to punch.”

This article was originally going to be about how Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t care about human life. Who else could throw an entire machete straight through a man, sticking him to the wall, make a joke at his expense (“Stick avound”), and then continue murdering the rest of his friends? Only Arnold. That’s just how that guy rolls. Watching the old Total Recall and then the ’73 version of The Mechanic after that, a friend and I got to thinking- there are no more Hollywood tough guys.

We’re not the first ones to think of this, sure, but what exactly are the reasons? The choices? Who’s left out there? Who is worthy? It ain’t Ryan Reynolds, that’s for sure. Is it the times? Has the Macho appeal faded? But I’m not just talking about having huge arms and carrying an anti-aircraft gun, I’m just talking about being a good old fashioned tough guy. The question: Where’s a modern day Eastwood or Bronson? The answer? We don’t have one. And I don’t know how to feel about it. Continue reading

For the Memories of a Lifetime…Total Recall’s Minor Issues

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 08/02/2012 by Taylor Holt

The new Total Recall movie comes out tomorrow and it made me reinvest myself in the last one. We had the TV version taped on VHS in ’94 and I, as a kid, watched it so many times the average adult human would have gone insane had he been forced to view it as many times as I did. Yet it’s funny that as many times as I watched it, there are several things I didn’t not once even notice.

These are not things I expect to be mind blowing if you’re a huge fan of the movie, but rather more personal revelations. I was seven in ’94, after all.

So before your get your Quaid/Hauser on, suck on the following, and open your miiiiiindd….

Continue reading

This Movie SUUUCKS: Alien Versus Predator: Requiem

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , on 04/23/2012 by Taylor Holt

I’ve been pretty sure that anybody who’s seen this movie hated it. If you didn’t, you should have. I myself, watched it in theaters with a friend pretty soon after it came out and laughed at it’s cheesy lines, terrible script, and overall lack of actual aliens versus predators. But it recently sprang to mind and seeing as how I’m not the same man I was some four years ago, I thought, “What the heck? It might be good for the action.”

In retrospect, I’m an idiot. This movie is even worse than I remember. Nonetheless, it made nearly 160 million dollars and some reviews actually pegged it as a “slam, bang action-thriller!” I have yet to meet anyone who really talks like that and I’m pretty sure the person who wrote it was either paid or threatened to say it. Continue reading