Archive for bad movies

This Movie SUUUCKS: Sharknado

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , on 08/20/2014 by Taylor Holt

shark

It’s really not worth it and that’s saying a lot. There are good bad movies and there are bad bad movies. You’ve got to know the difference. It’s key when you want to sit down with your friends and watch something you can all laugh at. Continue reading

This Movie SUUUCKS: Never Back Down

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , on 02/20/2014 by Taylor Holt

nbd4

Maaan…I remember when I was the new kid in Jawja. I had no friends, no social skills, and no teacher to guide me in the right direction. But man, did I have a mean right cross. Hoo boy. And everybody recognized it.

Sure, my anger problem made me undisciplined but dude…C’mon…I had heart. And when you have heart, there’s no telling how far you’ll go. Yeah, I mean, I would lash out over the most insignificant thing, going into a berserker rage but don’t you think having an anger problem is kinda…I don’t know…cool?

This is the set-up to Never Back Down and it’s pretty much exactly what Tokyo Drift was if you replace cars with MMA. Or Karate Kid. Continue reading

Twilight and the Era of Filmmakers that Don’t Have to Care

Posted in Whatever with tags , , on 11/27/2012 by Taylor Holt

LOOK AT IT

After a ridiculous weekend filled with sparkling and moody stares, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2: Electric Boogaloo hopped its way up to the number one spot and just laughed at everybody else that tried. It made $340 million dollars globally, the first weekend alone (At the time of finishing this article exactly a week later, it’s bumped up to $578 million, respectively).

Far be it from me to judge a person based upon their movie selection, my favorites are certainly open to mockery in one form or another, but dang; they don’t make as much as Breaking Dawn in their existence as a film, much less one weekend. The following is a short examination as to the success of the film series’ success with reasons being a little more than the obvious selling points of that kid taking his clothes off, as well as musings on an age where cast, crew, and fans alike all agree to make something they openly acknowledge sucks.

If you needed any more signs of impending doom the earth is soon to experience, then this should do the trick. God help us all. Continue reading

This Just In!: Alex Cross Sucks

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , on 10/19/2012 by Taylor Holt

“You’re DONE, Madea. I’m tired of all the head slapping. I’m Morgan Freeman now.”

After some confusion about the time that I was going to see the new Tyler Perry’s Alex Cross, I entered late and caught the end. I’m thankful for this. Continue reading

Good Bad Movies and Bad Bad Movies

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , on 09/25/2012 by Taylor Holt

“I was supposed to what? Talk to them? I could’ve sworn this was the scene where I killed everybody. Okay, from the top.”

A few weeks ago, I went over the topic of bad movies and how enjoyable they can be. It’s a different type of fun than watching a great movie and there’s a limitless amount of awfulness to view. With all the great terrible movies out there, it may be even easier to come across the ones that aren’t good bad, just…bad bad.

What makes a good bad movie and what makes just a plain awful movie? I can’t help but think of the differences between the two after watching a film that opened up last weekend and climbed its way to the top without any problem. Yep- Resident Evil: Retribution. It’s already made up twice its budget which is more than it deserves. Continue reading

Terrible Movies are the BEST Movies

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 09/04/2012 by Taylor Holt

If you heard the line when you saw this picture, you’ll understand this article.

I remember the first movie I’d ever watched as a kid and subsequently torn it up throughout. It was Surf Ninjas with Leslie Nielsen. I was spending the night over at a friends and I was pretty excited to watch it. It was a great movie; comedy, action, ninjas. As far as an eight-year old is concerned, that’s all you need. I’m in my twenties now and it’s still all about I need. So after chugging soda and annoying the ever living hell out of my friends parents for a good bit of time, we sat down to watch it and man I was ready. The red headed guy who couldn’t sure was hilarious to me (turns out it’s Rob Schneider) and I was all about…whatever else is in that movie.

Once we turned it on though, things changed. I had seen the movie before, and knew it well enough. I liked it then, I should like it now. But this was different. Not the movie itself, but the audience. I wasn’t with my dad, who would take us to see whatever crap a kid wants to go see. I wasn’t with just a couple kids my age who were as dumb as me and weren’t aware of what a “plot hole” was. No, you know else was there? My friend’s older brother. He was twelve. GASP! Continue reading

You Gotta See This: Troll 2

Posted in You've Gotta See This with tags , , , , , on 06/20/2012 by Taylor Holt

The above never actually happens in the movie. I don’t even think the color blue is at all present.

Stars: Michael Stephenson, Margo Prey

Rated PG-13 for ? , 1990, Horror/Comedy/Low Budget

Compare to: Critters (1986), Leprechaun (1993)

Y’know, I feel bad sometimes about the stuff  I post on here. Not so much “bad” really, as I much as I think people might get the impression that I hate just about everything. “4 Things Not to Do,” “This Movie Suuucks,” the review for “That’s My Boy…” So I like to think of doing “You Gotta See This” as sort of like drinking a lot of water after having only eaten junk for a while. That’s why I’m happy to bring you…Troll 2. Continue reading

This Movie SUUUCKS: Master of Disguise

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , on 06/03/2012 by Taylor Holt

If you happen to be a regular visitor of this site (chances are slim) and you’ve noticed that lately, I’ve just come off as lazy, well, sorry. I’ve had what looks like early signs of a hernia and dang it, I’m doing what I can to correct it. Work with me here. A friend suggested that bashing a movie I hate would make me feel better and ya know what? I think he was right.

So the perfect movie to roast would have to be Master of Disguise (2002). Why is this the perfect movie? Because much like my possible hernia, it pains me to rip on this movie because I actually like it. Pain and rip are the only thing that had to do with my hernia, not liking it. So it pains me to make fun of a movie I’m making fun of so I will feel better.

Does that make sense? Continue reading