Archive for horrible

Movie Review: Resident Evil: Retribution

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 09/14/2012 by Taylor Holt

Stars: Milla Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Michelle Rodriguez, Kevin Durand, Li Bingbing, Boris Kodjoe, Johann Urb

Rated R for sequences of strong violence throughout , Running time 95 minutes, Action/Adventure

Compare to: GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

I really don’t know what just happened. I remember going into a movie theater. I remember sitting down. I remember a movie starting, and then…I just don’t know.

It’s difficult to know what to review in a film when it only consists of scene after scene of… I’m not sure. Explosions? Meaningless dialogue? I can’t recall. This movie is so terrible, it makes an actual piece of fecal matter look as though it should win an Oscar. This movie is so stupid, the explosions are the stars of the movie and they were probably underpaid. I’m going to do my best to write the synopsis below but I feel like I’m going to need a break first because even thinking back to all the stupidity that has been funneled into this film is wearing me out. Continue reading