Archive for loser

Slow Day, Playaz

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , , , on 08/24/2012 by McCutcheon

If you can’t tell, I’ve once again failed as a reviewer. As a writer, oh I’m amazing, sure. But a reviewer, I’ll let you down every time. Something friends, family, and most of all, my dad has had to learn the hard way. What can I say, I’m a free spirit.

Kind of like how this Bison used to be.

In any case, I’m still going to be reviewing Premium Rush and the sure-to-be-a-waste-of-time The Apparition, it’s just taking me longer than usual. Can you tell I’m a little skeptical of the second one? I can’t help it, PG-13 Horror is just about the lamest, greediest type of movie that can be made other than say, Twilight. Both of which happen to feature Ashley Greene so I guess you could say her track record is a big fat smear. Hey, she’s making money at least.

Now if we want to talk about quality in movies, look no further than Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. Below is the famous clip Oh Hi Mark in animated form. Its rendering perfectly captures Wiseau’s subtle yet painful emoting of Johnny; a man getting closer and closer to the edge. And Mark? Well, he’s just up there thinkin’, y’know?

Check back in tomorrow.

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Please Don’t be Mad

Posted in Whatever with tags , , on 08/17/2012 by McCutcheon

Here’s a short list of why you shouldn’t be mad:

  • You don’t know why you should be mad yet.
  • You are a kind soul.
  • You don’t care that much about movie reviews to begin with and you found this site on accident.

…But dang it, I don’t have time to write a review today of either The Expendables 2 or ParaNorman. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that the universe is trying to keep us apart. I’m being serious, I sat down to write both reviews and the universe just looked me in the face and said “No.” Then he made me say an oath to a green power source and made me wear a fruity ring. Now anytime I touch a banana or a pencil I get weak and need to take a nap. Then he made me show up in this ridiculously expensive movie that tried to shove all seventy years of continuity into an hour and half. Nobody liked it, but hey the sequel’s already written.

Expect late reviews on both, the universe be damned!

Okay, maybe not damned

 

I just showed you a clip of Green Lantern so now you can be mad.