Archive for Movie reviews

Man Goes Viral for Pissing on ‘Passengers’ Movie

Posted in Reviews!, Videos! with tags , , , , , on 01/07/2017 by Taylor

Spoilers ahead!

One man’s nightmare is another man’s dream.

For Michael and Sarah. But not Michael Cera.

Hardcore Henry (SPOILERS)

Posted in Reviews!, Videos! with tags , , , on 04/09/2016 by Taylor

Hardcore Henry, aka The Six Million Dollar Man meets Crank, was great and it really made me want to let out my inner beast.

However, after the first try at making this video and being told that I can’t use everything I’d spent the last few hours on, I decided it’s better for me to calm down and spend some time with nature. And the highway.

Also, somebody tell me how to pronounce Sharlto Copley’s name. I love that guy but I’ve never known if I’m saying his name right.

Movie Review: Poltergeist

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 05/22/2015 by Taylor

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Stars: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Kennedi Clements, Kyle Catlett, Saxon Sharbino, Jane Adams, Susan Heyward, Nicholas Braun

Rated PG-13 for intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material, and some language,93 minutes, Thriller/Horror

Compare to: The Amityville Horror (2005), Fright Night (2011)

I don’t care that there’s no originality in Hollywood anymore. I really don’t. Everything has been done and if it hasn’t, it looks almost exactly like that one thing from that one time. My problem isn’t that the newest Horror movie is a remake of a film that wasn’t begging to be remade, my problem is that when I watch it, I see just about nothing to say “That was awesome!” And this is a problem since a movie should impress me. I’m not even asking for perfection.

The best I hope for at this point is to be impressed by certain effects and laugh at a couple intentionally funny moments. Poltergeist 2015 does this but I don’t get why we don’t go all out when they remake this stuff. Continue reading

Movie Review: Ex Machina

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 04/24/2015 by Taylor

machina

Stars: Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac, Alicia Vikander, Sonoya Mizuno, Corey Johnson,

Rated R for for graphic nudity, language, sexual references and some violence, 108 minutes, Drama/Sci-fi

Compare to: Blade Runner (1982), Her (2013)

Notice how there haven’t been many movie reviews lately? They should stop releasing such sucky movies so often. If I’m elected president, I vow to to only have good movies released during my reign of terror.

Had I been ruling with an iron fist at the current time, Ex Machina would definitely be getting its release. Though it may be too slow for those looking for a fast-paced Action/Sci-fi blowout, Ex sets its tone, keeps to it, and you really won’t be able to guess what will happen next. Continue reading

Movie Review: Seven Psychopaths

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 10/12/2012 by Taylor

Stars: Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken, Woody Harrelson, Olga Kurlenko, Abbie Cornish, Tom Waits

Rated R for strong violence, bloody images, pervasive language, sexuality/nudity and some drug use , Running time 109 minutes, Comedy/Crime

Compare to: Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), The Ladykillers (2004)

Following in the tradition of Guy Ritchie movies and maybe even Martin Scorcese, Martin McDonagh sets us up for a film that, at first glance, seems like any other dark comedy out there; crude, violent, nobody’s a good guy, that kind of thing. Though the final result isn’t as easy to categorize. While a dark comedy would continually revolve around jokes of a serious nature (kidnapping, violence, death, etc.), Psychopaths has no qualms about quickly going off the deep end to tell us stories of subjects they aren’t trying to make jokes of.

By the time the credits roll, how you may feel about the movie may depend on how open minded you are about it in the first place. Continue reading

You Gotta See This: The Troll Hunter

Posted in You've Gotta See This with tags , , on 03/14/2012 by Taylor

Not Rated , Runtime 90 mins,  2010, Dark Fantasy/ Mockumentary

Compare to: District 9 (2009), Cloverfield (2008)

Now, here’s an interesting one that might turn you away if you’re not a fan of the “Found Footage” subgenre. I am, if done right. Sometimes they’re just cheap and lazy like the last couple exorcism films made in this style; but occasionally, this type of filmmaking is used to give you a thrill from just a different perspective than you normally see in movies: your own. That being said, if you’re also a fan of different cultures’ mythology, this is your movie. Continue reading

Movie Review: Act of Valor

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 02/24/2012 by Taylor

With Call of Duty and Battlefield and whatever other war games you have nowadays that are pushing realism to it’s fullest extent, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood jumped on board and gave it a go. What follows is a movie that will be hated by the critic in us, but loved by the patriotic side. The film itself, so-so; while the attempt is an admirable one.

Act of Valor is the story of a Navy SEALs team sent to rescue a CIA agent taken hostage by a terrorist cell. The terrorist’s leader is a man not to be taken lightly and always seems to be just out of reach. After the rescue, the team realizes that their mission was just the beginning, as a plot to do far worse damage begins to unravel. Continue reading