Archive for Movie reviews

Man Goes Viral for Pissing on ‘Passengers’ Movie

Posted in Reviews!, Videos! with tags , , , , , on 01/07/2017 by McCutcheon

Spoilers ahead!

One man’s nightmare is another man’s dream.

For Michael and Sarah. But not Michael Cera.

Hardcore Henry (SPOILERS)

Posted in Reviews!, Videos! with tags , , , on 04/09/2016 by McCutcheon

Hardcore Henry, aka The Six Million Dollar Man meets Crank, was great and it really made me want to let out my inner beast.

However, after the first try at making this video and being told that I can’t use everything I’d spent the last few hours on, I decided it’s better for me to calm down and spend some time with nature. And the highway.

Also, somebody tell me how to pronounce Sharlto Copley’s name. I love that guy but I’ve never known if I’m saying his name right.

Movie Review: Poltergeist

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 05/22/2015 by McCutcheon

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Stars: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Kennedi Clements, Kyle Catlett, Saxon Sharbino, Jane Adams, Susan Heyward, Nicholas Braun

Rated PG-13 for intense frightening sequences, brief suggestive material, and some language,93 minutes, Thriller/Horror

Compare to: The Amityville Horror (2005), Fright Night (2011)

I don’t care that there’s no originality in Hollywood anymore. I really don’t. Everything has been done and if it hasn’t, it looks almost exactly like that one thing from that one time. My problem isn’t that the newest Horror movie is a remake of a film that wasn’t begging to be remade, my problem is that when I watch it, I see just about nothing to say “That was awesome!” And this is a problem since a movie should impress me. I’m not even asking for perfection.

The best I hope for at this point is to be impressed by certain effects and laugh at a couple intentionally funny moments. Poltergeist 2015 does this but I don’t get why we don’t go all out when they remake this stuff. Continue reading

Movie Review: Ex Machina

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 04/24/2015 by McCutcheon

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Stars: Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac, Alicia Vikander, Sonoya Mizuno, Corey Johnson,

Rated R for for graphic nudity, language, sexual references and some violence, 108 minutes, Drama/Sci-fi

Compare to: Blade Runner (1982), Her (2013)

Notice how there haven’t been many movie reviews lately? They should stop releasing such sucky movies so often. If I’m elected president, I vow to to only have good movies released during my reign of terror.

Had I been ruling with an iron fist at the current time, Ex Machina would definitely be getting its release. Though it may be too slow for those looking for a fast-paced Action/Sci-fi blowout, Ex sets its tone, keeps to it, and you really won’t be able to guess what will happen next. Continue reading

Movie Review: Seven Psychopaths

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 10/12/2012 by McCutcheon

Stars: Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Christopher Walken, Woody Harrelson, Olga Kurlenko, Abbie Cornish, Tom Waits

Rated R for strong violence, bloody images, pervasive language, sexuality/nudity and some drug use , Running time 109 minutes, Comedy/Crime

Compare to: Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), The Ladykillers (2004)

Following in the tradition of Guy Ritchie movies and maybe even Martin Scorcese, Martin McDonagh sets us up for a film that, at first glance, seems like any other dark comedy out there; crude, violent, nobody’s a good guy, that kind of thing. Though the final result isn’t as easy to categorize. While a dark comedy would continually revolve around jokes of a serious nature (kidnapping, violence, death, etc.), Psychopaths has no qualms about quickly going off the deep end to tell us stories of subjects they aren’t trying to make jokes of.

By the time the credits roll, how you may feel about the movie may depend on how open minded you are about it in the first place. Continue reading

You Gotta See This: The Troll Hunter

Posted in You've Gotta See This with tags , , on 03/14/2012 by McCutcheon

Not Rated , Runtime 90 mins,  2010, Dark Fantasy/ Mockumentary

Compare to: District 9 (2009), Cloverfield (2008)

Now, here’s an interesting one that might turn you away if you’re not a fan of the “Found Footage” subgenre. I am, if done right. Sometimes they’re just cheap and lazy like the last couple exorcism films made in this style; but occasionally, this type of filmmaking is used to give you a thrill from just a different perspective than you normally see in movies: your own. That being said, if you’re also a fan of different cultures’ mythology, this is your movie. Continue reading

Movie Review: Act of Valor

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 02/24/2012 by McCutcheon

With Call of Duty and Battlefield and whatever other war games you have nowadays that are pushing realism to it’s fullest extent, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood jumped on board and gave it a go. What follows is a movie that will be hated by the critic in us, but loved by the patriotic side. The film itself, so-so; while the attempt is an admirable one.

Act of Valor is the story of a Navy SEALs team sent to rescue a CIA agent taken hostage by a terrorist cell. The terrorist’s leader is a man not to be taken lightly and always seems to be just out of reach. After the rescue, the team realizes that their mission was just the beginning, as a plot to do far worse damage begins to unravel. Continue reading

Movie Review: Safe House

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , on 02/11/2012 by McCutcheon

I can figure out whether or not you’ll like this movie in a question: Do you like Denzel “I’m Always in Control” Washington? I find it funny when he plays a role that’s supposed to be a “regular guy” more or less (Taking of Pelham 123, 2009, Unstoppable, 2010). He just can’t do it. He’s too cool and has that commanding screen presence, if you will. A friend and I were discussing this before the movie came out and decided that putting him in a role where he’s not the lead investigtor or the guy who just knows everything is like when Clark Kent wears his glasses and suit. Come on man, we know you’re Superman. You’re not fooling anybody. Change into the outfit and be the guy that’s way more fun to watch. Thankfully, this is that movie.

Tobin Frost (Washington) is a rogue CIA agent that is nowhere and everywhere at once. He was the greatest agent in the history of espionage until he decided that doing whatever he wanted with his talents would be a better use. We don’t find this out until he falls into the lap of up-and-coming agent, and safe keeper, Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds), who feels as though he’s ready to get into the field and see some action. He soon gets what he wished for and more when rebel fighters interrupt the not-so-legal interrogation to get Frost. The rest of the film is filled with car chasese and fistfights as Weston does his best to keep Frost out of everybody’s reach. What’s worse is that Frost’s specialty seems to be mindgames, as he toys with Weston making him feel as though there’s no one he can really trust.

Critics seem to be confused about this movie, and I understand it to a point. The story isn’t anything too spectacular, and they seem to be especially tired of Ryan Reynolds. I understand this as well, after he helped destroy the onscreen presence of one of my favorite comic book characters, Deadpool, in 2009’s Wolverine movie. They also pan it for it’s use of frentic camera work and all out action with no pauses in between. This is not entirely disagreeable as I had to remind myself two or three times as to what was actually supposed to be happening in this gunfight.

But even with this being a Denzel movie (meaning of course, that’s it’s going to do well), I still don’t see the need to judge it that harshly. When I watch an action movie, I don’t care about the story as much as I do the set-up, which I appreciate here. Everybody plays their part as well as they always do, even if it’s a role we’ve seen time and time again. Brendan Gleeson, Vera Fermiga, and Sam Shepard all do a good job as Reynolds’ superiors who aren’t sure whether or not Reynold’s character has turned adding to the suspense of what will happen even if Reynolds completes his mission of bringing Washington in. Director Daniel Espinosa does a great jobof focusing on Frost psychologically demoralizing Weston in between action scenes, letting us believe the subtitle “no one is safe.” Heck, I’m only security at a movie theater and I don’t trust anyone there, so I can imagine being in the CIA would make a man one paranoid mofo. Is Frost telling Weston the truth of how his bosses really handle things behind the scenes? Or is he just really screwing with him? With Washington’s slick smile, it’s hard to tell.

Fares Fares (Yep, that’s a guy’s name) is also great as the leader of the team that’s killing EVERYONE that stands between him and Frost. I’m not sure if he said more a two words in the entire movie but with his somewhat distant stare, you get the idea that while not a terminator, he feels no sympathy for anyone that gets in his way. Once again, I don’t particularly care for the roles Reynolds usually portrays: cocky and sarcastic. Pow, you’ve got all of his movies. But that’s not the case in this film, as you really do get the feeling he’s not just trying to survive, but prove himself in a world where nobody seems to take him seriously. The fight scenes are done especially well too as gunshots are startling and the hand to hand combat makes the characters seem more like rabid dogs than agents. As for Washington, what do you say? He’s Alonzo Harris’ (Washington’s training day character) morals with Creasy of Man on Fire’s abilities. I dug it, and I’m sure others will too. It’s not going to change the way you look at movies, but it doesn’t have to for you to enjoy it.

Stars: Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, Vera Fermiga, Brendan Gleeson

Rated R for violence and language, runtime 2 hours, Action/Adventure

Plays Like: 16 Blocks(2006), Training Day (2001)

GRADE: B-