Archive for rants

Don’t Bring Your Baby to the Movies 2: A Security Story

Posted in Videos! with tags , on 05/13/2016 by McCutcheon

I used to kick people out of movie theaters and plenty of times, it involved crying babies. One of two videos leftover from my ‘Baby’ rant the other day. Getting as much mileage as I can out of that session.

One thing I’ve learned from my time as security is that people are highly irrational when it comes to their kids and though it’s understandable, it doesn’t necessarily keep you from looking like an idiot.

 

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DON’T BRING YOUR BABY TO THE MOVIES

Posted in Videos! with tags , , on 05/09/2016 by McCutcheon

Title says it all. I love kids, but I hate your baby in my movie.

How to be an Idiot by Pretending to be a Character

Posted in Videos! with tags , , , , on 05/04/2016 by McCutcheon

We all want to be somebody we’re not at times. Whether it’s because they’re hot, they’re cool, or simply because we want to know what it’s like to be not us, we’ve all been there.

Unfortunately many of us opt for the less heroic of idols and you make me hate you because of it. Don’t ruin great characters by pretending to be them. We can’t compare.

Side Note: Your friends hate your ‘Stewie’ impression.

If You Hate Lazy People, This is for You

Posted in Videos! with tags , on 04/22/2016 by McCutcheon

Lazy people, man…We don’t all have to invent whatever the modern day equivalent to the wheel would be (Psst! It’s a hexagon!) but if it weren’t for everybody else banding together to actually make things happen, we’d still be in the stone age humping tree stumps and banging our heads against walls we made.

“Lazy” word count: 19

 

I Hate Paying Taxes and You Can Too

Posted in Videos! with tags , , , on 04/18/2016 by McCutcheon

I will continue to pay them of course, but you can’t make me like it.

Guys- We Can’t Wear Gym Shorts in Public

Posted in Videos! with tags , on 04/15/2016 by McCutcheon

We’ve got some cool pants, we need to wear those. Not just for others, but for ourselves.

MUSIC CRITICS!!! ALL CAPS!!!

Posted in Videos! with tags , on 04/11/2016 by McCutcheon

“Hey, up-and-coming musician. Did you put your blood, sweat, and tears into this new album of yours? Meh, your ability to relay your life’s work really feels kinda ‘C-‘ to me.”

“Ooh, but that new Katy Perry EP is JUST what the doctor ordered! Four stars! All the thumbs up!”

Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool when musicians get favorable reviews and I’m sure those articles make them feel proud, as they should. I just don’t see why it matters to the rest of us.

The new Deftones is awesome, by the way.

For a related articles on critics, click this sentence.