Archive for the rock

Movie Review: San Andreas

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , on 05/29/2015 by Taylor Holt

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Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Carla Gugino, Paul Giamatti, Alexandra Daddario, Ioan Gruffudd

Rated PG-13 for intense disaster action and mayhem throughout, and brief strong language,93 minutes, Thriller/Action

Compare to: The Day After Tomorrow (2004), 2012 (2009), Into the Storm (2014), Any disaster movie you can think of

When a comedy movie comes out that parodies big-budget Hollywood action movies, this is the movie it has in mind. San Andreas is every action/disaster cliche rolled into an hour and forty-five minutes. Twenty years ago, a musclebound action hero in the role of an average Joe seemed normal. Now it’s feels like my childhood is slapping me in the face.

A lot of people looking for a good time will find it here. I didn’t, but as I’ve been told, I’m “too critical.” Maybe so, but after years of disaster movies where the divorced dad has to save his ex-wife from the lame new guy- I mean, from the natural disaster at hand, why wouldn’t I just watch those again instead of paying for something “new?” Continue reading →

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ZRE Podcast #26: Hercules and Lucy

Posted in Podcasts, Reviews! with tags , , , , , , , , on 07/28/2014 by Taylor Holt

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Or as I like to call them, “Strong Man” and “Smart Lady.”

Just an overview of the 7/25 movies released, Hercules and Lucy. Sure, too many jokes and logical fallacies can ruin a movie, but if you know how to balance them all, it really only makes so much of a difference to your film.

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Movie Review: Hercules

Posted in Reviews! with tags , , , , , on 07/25/2014 by Taylor Holt

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Stars: Dwayne Johnson, Ian McShane, Rufus Sewell, John Hurt, Rebecca Ferguson, Askel Hennie, Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, Reece Ritchie, Joseph Fiennes

Rated PG-13 for for epic battle sequences, violence, suggestive comments, brief strong language and partial nudity, Running time 98 minutes, Action/Adventure

Compare to: Clash of the Titans (2010), 300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

Placing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (I never know what to call him anymore) in a film is similar to placing Arnold Schwarzenegger in a role; no matter what the script originally called for, however simple or complex the character was meant to be, it’s now The Rock. He hardly changes from film to film, which is to be taken however you feel about him to begin with.

So the strength of the film itself lies with Johnson’s performance and presence. He certainly looks the part of a demigod but the guts and grit it pretends to have is overcome with cliches in a desire to make something safe and formulaic. Unfortunately. Continue reading →

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My Little Expendables

Posted in Whatever with tags , , , , on 09/12/2012 by Taylor Holt

I’ll be honest: I don’t care for The Expendables movies. I think the general idea is great; get all the 80s/90s tough guys together and have them blow things up. Awesome premise and that can be enough for most people. They’re not financially hurting either, with the two combined for an over 300 million gross. People dig it.

Well, I don’t. I don’t care for the “I showed up, and that’s enough” attitude, nor for Stallone’s shadow over the rest of the cast. I don’t find the locations interesting and blah blah blah- it’s not very good. But one thing I can’t deny is the draw of the cast itself. Isn’t that what got most people’s attention to begin with? And for that idea alone, I give Stallone and co. credit. It’s inspired the question among friends about who they would cast as the dream team of Expendables. Living or dead, any era, any character of whatever genre, who would you pick. Here’s my short list although I intentionally left any actual cast members off just to make it a little more interesting. Continue reading →

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This Movie SUUUCKS: The Fast and the Furious Series; Part 2 of 2

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , , on 05/02/2012 by Taylor Holt

Dang Rock, he’s opening up to you, just give him a hug.

So we’ve gone over the general storylines, right? Boy wants to be one of the popular kids. Popular kids eventually accept after boy drives car. Turns out boy is a cop. Does something to redeem himself to popular kids IF and only if popular kids are cool to begin with. Vin Diesel, yes. Cole Hauser, no. Who’s Cole Hauser? Exactly.

THY NAME IS HAUSER.

THY NAME IS HAUSER.

I know how loved this franchise is. Movies don’t get multiple sequels because they’re not making money. I completely understand why people like it too. Action, explosions, women, testosterone. But dang, man, let’s get some variety. The fifth one is about the only one that actually moved the characters forward. Before then, everybody seemed content with just having drivers bring down drug lords.

I’ve met/known several people who raced and none of them seemed to have it on the agenda to “bring down La Fuego; local heroin smuggler/millionaire.” But hey, Vin Diesel’s put that on his “To Do” list, thankfully for the police department of whatever city he’s hanging around. Continue reading →

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This Movie SUUUCKS: The Fast and the Furious Series; Part: 1 of 2

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , , on 04/26/2012 by Taylor Holt

Vin Diesel, you don’t look a day over 45. Oh, better look out, Johnny Tran is in your photo shoot!

I knew I wanted to do a SUUUCKS today, but I just hadn’t been able to put my finger on what exactly. The idea had been a-stewin’ in my mind for a while to do 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) but a friend suggested 2 Furious was “2” obvious (ohhhh) and that Fast Five (2011) should be chosen because it was the most recent and just sucked in a way that only a fifty-five year old Vin Diesel can suck.

Then I thought, “Well, I loved the first one in 9th grade. But I hate that one now, too! Why not do’em all?” And now you know how I came to this decision and how easily influenced I am. Continue reading →

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