Archive for this movie sucks

This Just In!: Annabelle Sucks

Posted in Reviews!, This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , on 10/03/2014 by Taylor Holt


Yes, I watched it. But I don’t want to write a review for diluted PG-13 Horror garbage. I don’t mind the rating(Edit: Turns out, it’s rated R. I really don’t know why though. I actually lost a bet to a friend that it was PG-13). I don’t mind Horror. I love Horror! In film of, course.

But when it’s diluted, well then that says it all doesn’t it?

It gets boring coming up with different ways to indirectly insult the movie a lot of people put time and effort into and it’s too easy. I’m faceless and behind a computer, pointing a digital finger at a bunch of people who may have just had this thing tossed in their lap. Continue reading

This Movie SUUUCKS: Sharknado

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , on 08/20/2014 by Taylor Holt


It’s really not worth it and that’s saying a lot. There are good bad movies and there are bad bad movies. You’ve got to know the difference. It’s key when you want to sit down with your friends and watch something you can all laugh at. Continue reading

This Movie SUUUCKS: Never Back Down

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , on 02/20/2014 by Taylor Holt


Maaan…I remember when I was the new kid in Jawja. I had no friends, no social skills, and no teacher to guide me in the right direction. But man, did I have a mean right cross. Hoo boy. And everybody recognized it.

Sure, my anger problem made me undisciplined but dude…C’mon…I had heart. And when you have heart, there’s no telling how far you’ll go. Yeah, I mean, I would lash out over the most insignificant thing, going into a berserker rage but don’t you think having an anger problem is kinda…I don’t know…cool?

This is the set-up to Never Back Down and it’s pretty much exactly what Tokyo Drift was if you replace cars with MMA. Or Karate Kid. Continue reading

This Movie Suuucks: The Matrix Sequels

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , , , , on 06/10/2012 by Taylor Holt

When I first saw the original Matrix in 1999, it was the greatest thing I’d ever seen, even without completely understanding it. We hadn’t really seen fighting like that outside of kung-fu films and even then, it hadn’t really ever been combined with the supernatural/bullet time aspects. Blade (1998) is the only other thing that comes to mind.

So when The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions were announced, everybody just felt like they hit the jackpot. “The fighting, the message, the music? There’s going to be MORE of it?” Little did we know, it was all just going to be terrible. Not only that, after a few years I’d heard a few rumors and eventually read some articles stating that the original was even a rip-off of a Grant Morrison comic book, ruining my entire idea of the freaking movies. Thanks, Cracked.  Continue reading

This Movie Suuucks: Torque

Posted in This Movie SUUUCKS with tags , , , on 02/14/2012 by Taylor Holt

As I sit here in front of this fire, with my feet on this bear skin rug, I think to myself: What’s the movie equivalent to getting punched in the ear? Torque comes to mind. It completes the not-so-easy task of making you want to scream and puke at the same time in hopes that something more interesting will fly out. And I’m sure it will.

Think about that. Soak that image in. You’ll want time back that you can’t have and that’ll just make you even more mad. Puke it out Buddy, puke it out. Continue reading